In the simplest of definitions, an open relationship is one in which both partners agree that they can have “sexual relations” with other people. People in open relationships tend to be free-spirited or carefree about their love life. They might be hesitant to fully commit or maybe they have fluctuating interests as far as gender.
Whatever the reason may be, when two people agree to enter an open relationship or open up a pre-existing one, they’re going to need to have at least a little trust in one another.
It may seem basic in the structure at first, but boundaries can get blurred quickly. If an open relationship is something you’re contemplating, you should consider a few factors that will most likely come into play at some point during an open relationship.
Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell?
One way to approach an open relationship is a blind trust method. This means that you won’t get involved or concern yourself with what your partner is doing outside of your relationship.
It can be beneficial to just let go and not worry about what they could be doing. This eliminates the opportunity for uncomfortable conversations or jealousy. By compartmentalizing your relationship you can avoid insecurities or comparisons that could easily creep in and taint a strong relationship.
The downfall to giving someone unconditional trust is that you never really know what they could be doing. If you’re going to operate your open relationship with a blind trust method, it is important to establish guidelines for each other, such as not hooking up with mutual friends or acquaintances.
Threesomes & Group Sex
Having an open relationship does not guarantee that you will be letting other people into your bedroom. Sex is so intimate, and threesomes or group sex can be both exciting and complicated. It is vital that when you enter an open relationship that you discuss if, when and how you want to implement these outsiders into your sex life.
Sometimes open relationships are based entirely off of threesomes. A guy and girl agree to invite a third every once and a while because it's hot or turns them on in a way that one person can’t. It opens a new door to what you can experience sexually.
Two sets of hands are always better than one right? But, again there is room for jealousy and insecurities here so you need to talk openly about what each other wants. Inviting someone that you both know personally to join in on your sex can get sticky.
Group sex in open relationships could be the simplest form of opening your sex life. Being in the same room while your significant other is hooking up with someone else is really the only true way to know and see exactly what is going on. This isn’t for those faint of heart, but if you’re open and trusting it’s the ultimate way to keep transparency in your open relationship.
STDs
No one likes to talk about STDs, but in an open relationship, it is something you simply just can’t ignore. Boundaries or guidelines should be set beforehand. Are you using condoms? Are you performing oral? Are you sleeping with more than just one person outside of your relationship? These are all questions that should be answered before they happen.
Getting tested regularly is, of course, the only way to know for sure, but it can be awkward to tell your boyfriend or girlfriend they have to be tested before they hop back in your sheets. Consider going to get tested together. Schedule the appointments on the same day, make the uncomfortable trip to the clinic together, and then go get lunch or some ice cream to mend your bruised egos.
Depending on the nature of your relationship and how often you are hooking up with other people will determine whether or not you need to get tested frequently or not so often. If you don’t want to deal with doctors every other month or you want to avoid awkward accusations or assumptions, establish that protected sex is the only sex you’ll be having. Condoms are cool and when you’re young and experimenting you should take every precaution to keep yourself safe. Keep in mind that getting tested is the only for sure way to know if your sex is safe and clean.
Haley Dake is a senior studying journalism at Ohio University. Please note that the views and opinions of the columnists do not reflect those of The Post. Ever had a threesome? Let Haley know by emailing her at @hd883312@ohio.edu.
