When it comes to sex, society has a very skewed, male-dominated view of pleasure and experience. Oftentimes, whether it is sexual encounters shown in media or through discussions, women’s sexual pleasure is not only misunderstood but rests on the back burner of the male-centered ideology of what heterosexual intercourse looks like.
Women are frequently taught that a man’s pleasure, through penetrative sex, is the center of the experience. This leads to many women being left unsatisfied. In turn, this perpetuates a harmful socialization many women come to believe in which “normal” sex may be painful or uncomfortable and is not about their own sexual experience, but rather their male partner's feeling pleasure.
Part of this ideology comes from the patriarchal way of life that exists in American society. However, the rise of the porn industry has also opened the door for female sexuality to not only be misunderstood but has created a standard that women are merely a means to an end for a man to experience an orgasm.
The rise of technology has made way for pornography’s popularity to rise, with any sort of fetish, kink or video available at users' fingertips through a simple search. Among American citizens, 69% of men and 40% of women view online porn each year.
Although, if used correctly, porn can be a way to explore sexuality and discover aspects of fantasy or pleasure that otherwise would be unknown, it remains a place where violence against women is perpetuated, female pleasure is rarely shown accurately and continues the standard that sex is a man’s game. The porn industry, through it’s high volume of usage, has managed to shape so much of what is understood about female sexual pleasure, yet it’s a space that takes no interest in it at all.
Among research on popular porn videos, 88.2% of pornography videos contain physical violence or aggression, most often towards women. The violence depicted in pornography can lead to harmful sexual behaviors in real life, as frequent pornography users are more likely to sexually objectify others and more likely to commit acts of sexual violence.
Data and studies on the harm of pornography are not new information and the popularity of porn remains a harmful disparity in our world that is negatively impacting many. However, often the conversation around porn usage and addiction is centered around the male experience.
What’s missing from the conversation around porn, is an understanding and reckoning of how women internalize the violent and male-dominated messages of pornography. Men and women alike use pornography, but it can be especially harmful to female users, as the industry only perpetuates harmful stereotypes of male gratification at the center and violent acts against women are written off as kinky or sexy.
Female sexuality and pleasure have taken the backseat in society for far too long. The harm is further perpetuated through porn, but sexual education for females is severely lacking compared to the male experience. A survey of over 1,500 Americans reported that 40% of women were unprepared for their first sexual experience after receiving sex education and 38% felt unprepared for changes occurring in their menstrual cycles.
Although more adequate sexual education will not make pornography usage disappear, accurately and effectively teaching girls about their bodies and instilling the knowledge that their pleasure is important will limit harmful usage and understanding of sex.
If society truly wants to solve the crisis of sexual violence and pornography usage and promote healthier relationships, it begins with shifting the lens from male-dominated pleasure to a mutual and realistic understanding of pleasure for both parties involved
Reclaiming female sexuality means furthering education for women across the world, about their bodies, their health, their pleasure and their own experience. It means empowering women to prioritize themselves. Finally, it means erasing the damage that the porn industry has done and finding a way to include women in the conversation while also showcasing and discussing female pleasure. The porn industry will only continue to further harmful stereotypes if such depictions of women continue to be viewed. .
BedPost is a sex and relationship column that does not reflect the views of The Post.
