Even if you're really comfortable with someone, it's still hard to do some fun things, like give a lap dance. What can you do to avoid worrying you'll look stupid or silly doing something sexy like this?
I know what you mean. Last time I did a lap dance, I put the music on shuffle and just between when I locked it and when I dropped it, “Eat It” by Weird Al came on. Talk about a mood killer.
The longer you are with your partner, the more comfortable you should feel around him or her. The more he or she should overlook your burps and farts, your failure to wake up with perfect makeup, your lack of a six pack, and, heaven forbid, the uncoordinated way in which you wiggle your scantily clad rump over a chair.
In a way, a lot of sex acts — such as roleplaying, power exchange, or a lap dance —are like acting. They take some emotional investment, which, if you are not comfortable acting, can feel awkward. And unless you suddenly become a Meisner-crazed extrovert, it might always feel awkward (Meisner crafted an acting technique).
But the point of a lap dance is not to show off how much experience you have giving lap dances (most of the time), but rather to try something sexy and fun that shows affection and attraction. Your partner might feel just as unsure about how to act as you do, but he or she will definitely feel flattered.
If your partner really cares about you and you give it your best shot, the worst that can happen is that the two of you fall laughing into a heap on your bedroom floor. And a lot of great things happen on bedroom floors.
Alex Bill is a junior studying psychology and criminology.
You say you’re embarrassed to shake, shimmy and roll in front of your prospective sexual partner. Well, so am I.
No matter how much Flirty Girl Fitness tries to sell me on being the sexy pole dancer I was born to be, I still look like a goof when I drunkenly grind on the light poles lining Court Street.
Those infomercials make sexy look so easy.
But, I’m here to admit that maybe sexy isn’t everything. In the bedroom and in life, it all comes down to balls.
Like the cowardly lion that finds he possesses the hidden courage all along, no grand wizard or cheesed-up workout video can grant you sexiness. Poof, it’s already inside you. We’re all sexual beings. All we need to do is stand up and work it.
I’ve performed in the Rocky Horror Picture Show, which includes standing on stage bearing all in lingerie and gothic makeup, two years in a row now. For the entire show, we sing dirty songs and flex body parts I didn’t even know had muscles.
Shaking my ta-tas on a stage while surrounded by a bunch of other scantily clad men and women of all beautiful shapes and sizes helps remind me that everybody is sexy.
You might not think you’re bringing enough confidence to the dinner table, but just the fact that you’ve offered your body as dessert is enough to fill the menu.
Don’t hold back. Shake what your mama gave you.
Steph Doan is a junior studying journalism.
Send your burning sex questions to her and Alex at thebedpostpeople@gmail.com.
