Hello,
I have been dating my boyfriend for more than two years now. Initially, I was very attracted to him, but as time has progressed, he seems to be letting himself go. I hate to seem shallow, but I am less and less physically attracted to him. Should I say something to him? And if so, how do I approach such a sensitive topic? Or am I just looking for a way out?
Sincerely,
Weighting for Change
Dear Weighting,
Yes, it sounds to me as if you are looking for a way out of your relationship.
I would be lying if I said physical attraction wasn't a relatively important part of a relationship, because it is. However, I have found that typically the longer you've been with a person the more passionately you'll feel about them, which makes that person more attractive to you and makes physical attraction less important.
You could bring up your problem with your boyfriend's weight to him, but in reality, it will probably do more harm than good. I think sometimes people are under the impression that men aren't sensitive about their body image, but give them some credit: Men are people and they have feelings, too.
How would you feel if your boyfriend approached you and told you that you were letting yourself go and that he wasn't attracted to you anymore? You would probably feel pretty bad.
It's always hard to end a long relationship because they're easy and comfortable. However, easy and comfortable doesn't always mean right, and if you find yourself picking away at your boyfriend (his appearance or other traits), it's time to evaluate your situation.
Spend some time away from your boyfriend before you go picking on his physical appearance (we're just a few weeks away from Winter Break) and see how that makes you feel. If you feel better without him around, you should end the relationship and move on.
3 Culture
Mallory Long
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