Congratulations. You are a freshman at The Ohio University. You now share a special bond with everyone else who has ever gone here -and I don't just mean the 37 e-mails a week you'll be receiving from SingleBobcats.com. You might not appreciate it yet, but there will be a time when you walk down Court Street and feel a tingling sensation go through your whole body. Assuming you aren't being tasered, this feeling is pride in your school and your town.
What is so special about Athens and OU, you ask? Well, there are both good and bad. I have compiled a list of the intricacies of the college life that it takes a lifetime to discover and explain -or, in written form, about 600 words.
You need to realize immediately that Athens is a bagel Mecca. People will tell you that they visit you just for the bagels, and they might not be joking. Having Bagel Street Deli and World's Best Bagels in the same town is like forming a single team out of all the best basketball players ... a Dream Team
if you will. Wow, just think of it. They'd be unstoppable!
The hot chocolate at the Front Room is the best deal on campus. Delicious cocoa for just a buck with marshmallows and whipped cream at no extra charge. With crazy deals like that, it's no wonder we are the fifth-best party school in America.
At some point, you are going to learn that you cannot survive your whole life on just Pop-tarts and beer.
Four years, however, is a realistic goal.
Groceries and Uptown eateries will become a necessity as you realize the shortcomings of OU dining halls. In due time, school delicacies such as refried beans and twice-baked potatoes will be known by their traditional name -leftovers. The one that really worries me is Springtime Spaghetti on the 23rd. Have fun with that one.
For the love of all that is splendid, go to the women's volleyball matches! They have a setter who is amazing in every sense of the word and two sisters from Cincy who are crazy good. Going to their games is like watching an episode of Le Femme Nikita. Try one match and you won't be disappointed -their next one is in two weeks, Sept. 24 in The Convo.
While increasing diversity is a stated goal of the university, a 6 percent minority population, according to an Aug. 26 edition of The Summer Post, is evidence the university has a long way to go.
Ninety percent of students here are also from the great state of Ohio, and about half of the rest must come from Pittsburgh.
If you are both an out-of-state student and a minority, then hi, Steve.
Know your roll. The university provides toilet paper, which is nice, but their money-saving generic selection feels like the love child of cardboard and sandpaper. Always keep a two-ply roll of your own in your room, and use that instead of the school's rusty cheese grater brand. It's well worth the few extra bucks.
The dorm room showers are also a frustrating experience. You might be tempted at first to not bother wearing sandals, but your first green blister will quickly convince you to do otherwise (I wish, I wish, I wish I was making that up).
These, along with many others during the next four years, are some of life's lessons that can only be learned here in good old Athens.
-Bryson Turner is a junior telecommunications major and would love to get an e-mail not from SingleBobcats.com. Send him one at bt267202@ohio.edu. 17
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Bryson Turner
