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Military policy is simply rank

March 1, 1996: Don't ask, don't tell? Don't be ridiculous! Two years ago the Clinton administration created the Don't Ask

Don't Tell Don't Pursue policy for homosexuals in the military. The policy was enacted to lessen discrimination against gay members of the armed forces.

Once enacted, the policy was seen as extremely controversial by both the military and homosexuals. Putting all disputes aside, the main question still remains: Is the policy working?

Legal documents recently obtained by the Legal Defense Network, a group that assists gay individuals in the military, show it isn't working.

This past year, 488 members of the Army, Navy and Marines were discharged for homosexuality. That is a 17 percent increase from the previous year, according to The New York Times.

Even more horrific, Pentagon documents and interviews suggest that the military is not just asking some service members about their sexuality, but is questioning their parents, friends and therapists.

When a policy as idiotic as Don't Ask Don't Tell Don't Pursue is implemented by the military, the LEAST it could do is follow it. Despite the fact that homosexuality shouldn't be an issue in the armed forces, military leaders should uphold this policy in the strictest sense.

Picture this: A soldier is in a foxhole during war. It's damp, cold and he hasn't eaten or slept for two days. The enemy has advanced and opened fire on his platoon. Four men already have been killed. He hears the scream of the bombs, smells the rotting dead, feels the stinging sweat drip into his eyes, then thinks to himself, I hope that gay guy down here doesn't grab my ass. Some people actually believe the fear of homosexual advances will cause dissension in the military unit. And too many people use similar scenarios as arguments for the dismissal of homosexuals from the military.

If soldiers have been deprived of food and sleep, not to mention fearing for their lives, does the military really think such soldiers are going to give sexuality a second thought? For our country's sake, we hope not.

The policy is obviously not working. President Clinton needs to come out of hiding and take a side.

Come on, Clinton, forget about your popularity and the next election for a moment, and do something ... that works. Sometimes compromise isn't the answer. It's time for our commander in chief to put his foot down and stop the witch hunt.

Sexual orientation shouldn't be a public issue. Qualified men and women, however, have been unfairly persecuted by the military for revealing it.

If nothing is done to correct the mess, our military is no better than it was when blacks and women were barred from joining the institution.

Maybe sensitivity programs are the answer. Maybe it's just a simple matter of following the rules. And the rules say not to discriminate. Clinton and the military must stop this disgusting display of fear and ignorance. Don't ask don't care -now that's a policy!

Be careful March 8, 1996: The sunny skies and sandy beaches of far-off lands relax us, take away our troubles and allow us to put real life on hold. But what our minds forget during that blessed week in the glorious sunshine, our bodies will surely remember.

Demonstrate a little common sense while you frolic in the sand.

If you insist on offering your body as a sacrifice to the sun gods, remember your sunscreen (and don't cheat -if you have fair skin, use the highest SPF legally available).

Don't drink in the sun (at least, don't drink too much). It's no fun to be passed out in your motel room while everyone else is playing outside.

Keep in mind that Uptown on spring break isn't Pawpurr's or the Pub.

Be prepared to deal with psychotics (not the ordinary Ohio University type), and don't get separated from your friends.

Remember that you don't know the vast majority of the people around you.

And for heaven's sake, if you're going to hook up with someone for a little romantic fun in the sun, remember to bring your raincoat. If you don't, be prepared to take a number and stand in line at Hudson with all the other STI-infested, unprotected spring-breakers.

The preaching is finished. Have the time of your life. Get nutty!

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