Pogonotrophy, the art of beard shaping - learn it and love it.
Remember that whole manscaping thing? Apply it to your face.
Men don't accidentally end up with the facial hair attached to their face. They grow it using shear force of will and testosterone (some use Rogaine).
Did you know that Microsoft Word not only does not recognize the word manscaping but also recommends that you replace it with massacring? Beardless pansies. On second thought, perhaps Bill Gates just wants you to approach shaving as a take no prisoners war against dead protein.
I see where you're going, Bill. Keep shavin' the good shave.
Men don't shave to a five o'clock shadow.
As a man, you will have hair that insists on growing out of your face long after it refuses to grow out of your head. Embrace this; stop treating shaving as a chore and start enjoying it.
Throw out your electric razor, unless it serves as your hair trimmer. Just because we invented electricity does not mean that we should use it for everything: see electric stoves, the electric chair and the Electric Slide.
Shave as if you are on a date with your chin. Expect success by setting the mood.
Enjoy a nice hot shower and wrap a towel around your waist. (That is mostly for effect, I do not actually recommend that tactic in all situations, as most dates should at least start fully clothed.)
Put on some music. If you are romancing your chin, try some jazz. If you are paying homage to your soon-to-be-departed facial hair, try some bagpipes.
Take out that shaving gel/cream/oil and give yourself a good lather. You should take a moment to appreciate yourself in the mirror. Blow your scruff a kiss or say it a prayer: We who are about to shave look downright foxy.
As you shave, remember it is not the number of blades but the skill of the hand that makes a good shave. Where have I
(anonymous sample reader) heard that before?
Not all aftershaves are the same. Find the one that makes your newly shaved jaw line want to give you a happy ending.
Tell your super smooth face, Maybe sometime we could double date you and I with that girl and her legs.
After all that, you should put on some clothes and turn off the music before someone catches you in the act and feels jealous of your manhood (at least that's what you can tell yourself).
Men: they make up lies to feel better about their romantic relationships with shaving.
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Culture
Alex Bill
