Dear Bedpost,
“My girlfriend and I only have sex in the bed and only a couple of ways. What are some ways to spice this up without sounding like I hate her?”
Dear reader,
Sometimes when you’re with someone you can get in a sexual rut of sorts. This is bound to happen because honestly, as great as sex is, we all have things to do like school, work, various stamp collecting clubs, etc., and spicing it up in the bedroom sometimes falls by the wayside.
What you do need to realize, and what you can assure your girlfriend is, just because you’re not having sex in creative ways, does not mean you hate her or are unhappy with the relationship.
Trying out new things is a really fun journey that you can take together if you’re both willing, but there are a few things to keep in mind. One, sometimes people do really prefer sex in a bed in the dark. Don’t be offended if that’s the type of person she is. Two, if she is willing to explore, take it slow. Perhaps bondage on a sex swing in the middle of college green isn’t the best idea to start with (or at all, please don’t get me in trouble!). Take baby steps and communicate along the way and you should be fine.
Kristin is a junior studying journalism and the Culture Editor of The Post.
Just like with most situations presented for this column, I recommend communication.
Tell your girlfriend you’ve grown somewhat tired of the sex the two of you have been having and suggest trying some new things out to make it more interesting. Take it to the shower or the kitchen. Just clean the countertop before making dinner.
If you’re also weary of the same old positions every time, discuss trying some new stuff in that regard as well. I’m not going to list or describe any of them here — children read this, probably and scarily — but skim the pages of the Kama Sutra and see what jumps out at you. I know that sounds like a cliché, but there’s a reason that thing still gets printed today.
The best way to make her not hate you with this talk is to not sound angry. Just tell her you want things to be exciting again and a shot in the arm of your sexcapades would be a great way to liven the relationship.
Ian is a junior studying journalism. Have concerns about your member? Write to us at thebedpost people@gmail.com
