(U-WIRE) -My newest heroine: Nisha Sharma. Here is an inspiration to us all, a woman who fought a patriarchal tradition in Delhi, India, and won, unfazed.
The tradition of a dowry as accompaniment to a woman in a marriage has a long history, based first on common interest among family, then based on greed for one or both sides. Since the 1980s, it has been illegal to force a dowry from the affianced woman, but it is still a common practice. Despite this, in May, Nisha Sharma agreed to give her future in-laws and husband, Munish Dalal, a sizable dowry.
All was going according to plan until the night before the wedding, when suddenly the in-laws demanded more in presents and money. Her future groom assaulted her father, and Nisha did what every woman in her right mind would do when confronted with an angry man, and even worse, an angry mother-in-law, behind him: she picked up the phone, called the police, had him arrested for breaking the anti-dowry law and for criminal intimidation and simultaneously called off the wedding.
According to an informal vote of 18,095 participants on BBC, 96 percent believed Nisha was right to call the police and have her fiance arrested. Furthermore, she has received not only widespread media coverage over her spunky action, but she has received numerous marriage proposals from men supporting her courage and the stand she took.
Nisha is now married to a computer engineer, and her story is being printed in many school textbooks in Delhi. She is considered a role model by the government for middle class woman, all to her surprise.
I had no idea that my story was going to be taught in the classroom
she said. I learnt the news from ... newspapers.
She credits her father for her courage.
Now that's just awesome. She's modest, has a cool head during a crisis and wishes to raise awareness about social issues, such as dowries, with which children today will one day have to grapple. I think we need some people like her out in the world of politics. Who needs Tony Blair and his ingratiating ways anyway?
While Nisha is certainly the most celebrated of the current outbreak of women fighting the standard view of dowries, she is not the precedent of such acts. The woman who is commonly recognized is Vidya Bala, subramaniam of Southern India.
Similar to Nisha, Vidya canceled her wedding when faced with the demand of more money and larger gifts. Unlike Nisha, however, she was not backed by her family. In fact, even as the police were arriving at her fiance's doorstep, her parents were attempting to settle the situation so as to allow the wedding to go on. The groom, however, was arrested.
Another situation of true love gone sour took place three days after a couple was wed in Delhi. The husband demanded more dowry gifts after the wedding and, to ensure that his wife realized the seriousness of his demand, he viciously beat her. She called the police, had him arrested and now refuses to go back to him. It is unknown if the dowry was returned to the wife.
This unfortunate woman is not alone. In Rajasthani, a 20-year-old woman was chained to a bed for two months and deprived decent amounts of food by her in-laws over an argument about the dowry. She managed to escape one morning and report the incident to a women's police station. Her husband and mother-in-law were arrested, and a case is now being built against the entire family.
It is a terrible thing to hear of domestic violence, yet it does my heart good to see strong women emerging from seemingly out of the blue and, in their own way, standing for their inherent right of a safe and peaceful home. When I hear of such stories, I cannot help but feel pride for my gender and an optimistic hope for the future of any society. It is a large step forward for all people when women of any class in a strongly patriarchal society can challenge the old ways of marriage and win. 17
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Leah Ricker
