It is hard to argue that the 2006 NCAA Men's Basketball Tournament wasn't a little crazier than past tourneys. Chances are you were without your Final Four teams since the Sweet Sixteen, and your mom and little sister both picked more accurate brackets.
Look
mommy. I know how to say these team names. U-C-L-A and L ... wait what's that curvy letter again?
Well, it is over. Pay your sister and count your blessings that no one has to know about this embarrassing development except for immediate family. Wait ... is your mom on the phone with your grandmother?
Skip the next family reunion.
On the plus side, now there is no reason to sit through CBS's cycle of the same five advertisements (I've decided to go with the John Deere instead of the Toro and Club Cadet riding mowers), no point to subject yourself to images of Joakim Noah for another year and, best of all, no more Billy Packer.
I swear, the other day before the LSU/UCLA game I heard Packer say that LSU would not only have to play offense to win the game, but defense as well. I don't know where Packer comes up with all these ridiculous strategies, but I'm pretty sure Jim Nantz is glad he is off camera when he is rolling his eyes and beating his head against the wall.
Speaking of rolling, are there any Winona State, Virginia Wesleyan, Grand Valley State or Hope fans in Athens? Anyone, anyone G? Bueller?
Winona State brought down Virginia Union, 73-61, to clinch the men's Division II title and Virginia Wesleyan snuck by Wittenberg, 59-56, to win the men's Division III championship. On the women's side, Grand Valley State beat American International, 58-52, while Hope downed Southern Maine, 69-56, for the Division II and III titles, respectively.
Now I know what you are thinking, Why would I ever need to know about Division II and III athletics Mark?
Two words: Trivial Pursuit. When you are mercilessly beating your opponent you will thank me. Just make sure you pick up the Utterly Impossible version of the game.
While it is normal to forget that Division II and III athletic national tournaments exist, is anyone sitting down to watch the Division I NCAA Women's Basketball Tournament's championship game tonight?
Here is a simple test that, if I were there to hear your answer, would tell me how much you care right away.
Name the two teams playing for the women's Division I title G? five seconds G? go!
OK, here is a hint. The first team's male equivalent was picked to win the men's title until a certain J.J. decided he was bored with making three-pointers and started shooting bricks just to see what it was like.
You guessed it ' the Duke Blue Devils! The Duke women defeated LSU, 64-45, on Sunday to find its way to the title game for the first time since 1999.
As for the second team, it can brag that it was the only team to defeat the North Carolina women's basketball team this season. This team also boasts one of the NCAA's odder mascot names.
If you guessed St. John's, you were wrong. While the Red Storm is a pretty crazy mascot, St. John's was eliminated in the second round by the other team dancing in this year's championship game ' Maryland.
(For the record, I think the Terps should call themselves the Turtles and make it a little easier on all of us. Just think of what would happen if Ohio tried to be exotic with its mascot. The Ohio Pumas G? sexy).
So before you completely call it quits for March Madness this year, check out the women's final tonight at 8:30 on, thankfully, ESPN. The simple fact that this event is without Packer is more than enough reason to flip on the game.
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Mark Shugar
