By Ace Grovney
Resident Correspondent
In an attempt to justify a blown-lead loss to Miami this fall, Ohio University Athletic Director Gary Unmarried has denied allegations that the football program was lying in a statement released yesterday that implied it threw the game on purpose.
Pending an NCAA investigation, Unmarried and the team could face a “shame on you” finger-wag from Association President Burt Macklin, according to a news release.
“We threw the game,” Unmarried said. “To be brutally honest, we were actually trying to throw the game, started to do well, began trying, then started losing again and finally went back to the original plan.
“It was (head coach Red) Green’s idea?” Unmarried added.
Ashley Bee, NCAA’s associate director of public and media relations, said that though the investigation has yet to reach completion, the association is fully prepared to issue the finger-wag if need be.
“I can’t really even tell if they’re lying,” Bee said. “What can I say? It was a disappointing regular season for them. Roll Tide.”
The investigation, which has been nicknamed the “Stumble Heard ‘Round a Stadium Filled With a Few Hundred People,” seems to have the wide majority of Bobcat Nation confused, as every fan still willing to admit he or she is a fan declined to comment.
However, one man found wearing a Miami RedHawks jersey on OU’s Athens campus yesterday seemed to be amused by the ordeal.
“Ha,” said the man.
Pending investigation or not, many believe the accusations of the program to be true, following a halftime interview with OU’s back-up quarterback Gus Bus.
“I’m not supposed to answer any questions because they told me I’m not bright,” Bus stated in the October interview. “Apparently, I’m just here to make the starters look better, which I seem to be doing a pretty OK job of doing. Roll Tide.”
