Query a Queer: Difference between "queer" and "gay" and heterosexism and homophobia
Heterosexism is the assumption that all people are heterosexual and that heterosexuality is somehow superior to non-heterosexuality. This is different from homophobia, which is an unreasonable fear towards queerness and queer people. Heterosexism works under the radar — it has encoded our culture into a two-gendered dichotomy that is set off-kilter when someone tries to deviate from the societal norm. Heterosexism is often paralleled to racism in that white privilege and heterosexual privilege are both terms that have been used to apply terms for benefits that the dominant culture experiences despite no scientific reasoning to why the minority is less deserving of those privileges. There are plenty of ways that heterosexism manifests itself in everyday life, sometimes not even in a conscious way. While you might know in your head that queer people exist, you might subconsciously assume every person you meet is heterosexual. Perhaps you were caught off guard when your coworker mentioned their same-sex partner or when you learned that your friend who has been with her boyfriend for two years has had female partners in the past. Heterosexism has taught society that it’s OK to give negative connotations to words that are typically associated with queer culture. It has created a stigma against “sissy” men or “butch” women. Heterosexism tries to exaggerate the differences between heterosexuality and queerness, all the while minimizing the uniqueness of the culture. We should be direct in our response to apparent heterosexism, strive to use gender-free language (i.e. “are you dating anyone” vs. “do you have a boyfriend?”), and as always, keep an open mind.