I love the Attack Cat.
You know, that logo etched on Peden's turf and The Convo's floor? I love that logo enough to have purchased Attack Cat hats, Attack Cat shirts and Attack Cat plush dolls that sit on my Lincoln Hall desk in an Attack Cat plastic cup.
I love the Attack Cat enough that the idea of getting it tattooed on my forehead in all its green-and-white glory has crossed my mind more than once.
The Attack Cat has one small problem, though: its mascot partner, the Bobcat.
As it roams through the stands in its slippered feet, the Bobcat is slow, fat and too cuddly to properly be recognized as the world's smallest non-domesticated feline. The Bobcat is so unimposing, in fact, that I would put money on Swoop, Miami's formidable, um, bird-like mascot to register a knockout by the third round.
In short, the Bobcat needs a makeover.
Under Sportswriter's Eye for the Mascot Guy, I propose to give The Bobcat an entirely new look that will actually give the appearance of, well, a non-domesticated feline.
First, The Bobcat needs to go on a diet and lose some of that unneeded girth. I am not saying that my not-so-little buddy needs to go psycho on the ab machine - there's no need to be ripped like Georgia's Hairy Dawg or Ohio State's Brutus Buckeye - but a few pounds most definitely need to be shed.
Next, we need to go shoe-shopping, because those oversized feline feet are soooo last summer. Besides, we wouldn't want to track any muddy paws on The Convo's new floor. Personally, I would go with the black cleats for outdoor action and the classic white high-tops for indoor, but some customized Air Force Ones might not be a bad alternative.
Finally, we need to update the wardrobe. That little ballcap makes the Bobcat look more like a kindergarten graduate than anything else, and mom always said you looked older without a hat. While we're at it, how about a jersey instead of that too-tight T-shirt? And who said the Bobcat could run around without any pants? We are talking college sporting events here, folks, not a cheap Disney cartoon.
If the Bobcat can go through with these not-so-drastic changes, an invite to the 2004 Capital One All-America Mascot Team might be next. And if that happens, well, you can bet that Swoop will run and hide his RedHawk tail.
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