It is rare to refer to someone as Smiling Donkey Girl and mean it as a compliment. It is also rare to make yourself look like an idiot and take pride in doing it. But then, life isn't always by the book. This is a lesson that can never be learned too many times, and it's a lesson that I learned yet again recently -and the story begins with me being told a girl's name outside of The Donkey.
I'm not exactly sure how my brain works when being introduced to someone, but I must be doing something wrong, because half the time I don't know his or her name five seconds later. Basically, when someone is telling me his or her name, my brain says, I'm shaking your hand
I'm shaking your hand I'm shaking your hand ... OK now tell them your name.
So, having forgotten her actual name quicker than Kobe Bryant forgets he's married, I created a name for her I would remember. She worked at The Donkey, and she had a great smile, so she became Smiling Donkey Girl.
Cut to this week, as I'm walking home. Sure enough, whom do I run into but the girl I compare to a mule. We talk for a bit, pleasantly. As we are parting ways, she says, Well
have a good day Bryson. And I of course respond with the generic, Yep -you too. Crisis averted. And then this girl, who ironically shall remain nameless, stops in mid-stride, turns around and says, Hey -you don't know my name
do you? After making the split-second decision not to try and defend the Smiling Donkey Girl moniker, I knew I was caught.
But how could she ask me that!?! Even if you have your suspicions, you can't ask that! If the other person does know your name, that's awkward, because you underestimated the relationship. And if they don't know your name, that's even more awkward. This is one of the most basic social principles there is. You just aren't supposed to do that.
Which brings us to leaf-catching. Leaf-catching is another thing you aren't supposed to do, and it's something that very few people even know about. It's something I discovered my freshman year here. As leaves fall off a tree, there is something very special about catching them before they hit the ground. That particular leaf will only fall to the ground one time, ever, and the chance that you are right there at that exact moment is miraculous. If you can catch a leaf as it is falling, then you are holding something that has never touched the ground before. And that is a pretty cool feeling.
And it's not like they are a piece of cake to catch, either. They toss and turn violently, like a child dreaming he's at Neverland Ranch. And they can make you look pretty stupid, too. Don't think it could possibly be that tough? Fine -but don't talk the talk if you can't catch the ... leaf. Go ahead and try to catch one, just once. Even a slight breeze can make leaf-catching near impossible. Odds are though that if you ever do manage to snag one of nature's Plinko chips, the feeling will be so overwhelmingly sweet that you won't care what the kid you just knocked over thinks.
So what's the moral of the story? Well, I know the girl's name now. And to be honest, I like her more for having asked. It was one of the most refreshing conversations I've had in a long time. And her name is now permanently imprinted in my brain -much like Ink is for my half a dozen readers.
My point is that you should do something different this week. Try something new. Do something that most people think is dumb, that doesn't make any sense. Do something that isn't you. Why? Because life is too short to go around not knowing girls' names, and because before you know it, there won't be any more leaves left to catch.
-Bryson Turner is a junior telecommunications major. Send him an e-mail at bryson.turner@ohiou.edu.
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Bryson Turner
