Now that the presidential election has passed, we can return our attention to the things that really matter.
Namely, reality television.
This Sunday, the FOX network will premiere its newest reality show, My Big Fat Obnoxious Boss. The premise is that a crazy boss puts several aspiring yuppies through a variety of outrageous tasks to get a job that, in reality, doesn't exist.
Hmm. Sounds familiar. Perhaps WOUB should produce a new reality television show in Athens, with just one small change.
The show would be called My Big Fat Obnoxious Professor
and it would follow a group of college students as they leap through every flaming hoop their crazy professor throws at them.
In the first episode the students have to suffer through the boredom of their crazy professor reading the syllabus word for word even though the students know how to read!
In week two the crazy professor gives the students a quiz over a chapter in their $80 textbook. He then goes over all the information from the chapter in class, completely nullifying the need to read the book other than to get five points on a meaningless quiz!
Later in the season, the students have to learn yet another style for citation and formatting a paper because every department at the university uses a different style. The crazy professor blindly follows the style and gives inordinate weight to minute style and formatting details, even though the paper will never be published!
During the next episode, the crazy professor assigns a project so large that many of the students must pull an all-nighter to complete it. All the while, he shows no sympathy, assuming his class is the only one that matters, even though he knows that his students are all full-time students, are taking at least three other classes and might even have part-time jobs as well!
The next week, one of the students passes the crazy professor on the street and says hello. The crazy professor looks confused and continues walking. He is too preoccupied with his research and the textbook he's writing that he doesn't even recognize a student who he has in class almost every day!
Then, in the season finale, the students barely pass the 200-question final exam. The students graduate after the quarter, but in the outrageous and shocking twist, none of them can find jobs because the American economy is in shambles!
My Big Fat Obnoxious Professor is sure to be the biggest thing since Survivor. After one season on WOUB, the hounds at America's most shameless television network, FOX, most definitely will come calling.
Let me say that I have liked most of my professors at Ohio University and that even the worst I have had are not quite as bad as the big fat star of MBFOP. He is more of an amalgam of faults; no normal professor possesses all the big fat obnoxious powers of the crazy professor on MBFOP. Once FOX gets a hold of the show, I envision him being played by Wayne Knight, known most famously as Newman on the sitcom Seinfeld.
I have a great feeling about this show. It's not because I like the content, and it's not because I enjoy reality television -in fact, I believe reality television is at least part of the reason the rest of the world hates America right now. Frankly, I have a great feeling about My Big Fat Obnoxious Professor because I know it will cost little and make millions.
Our big fat obnoxious American culture will eat it up, even though they'll be eating up crap!
-Joe Rominiecki is a senior journalism major. Send him an e-mail at andrew.rominiecki@ohiou.edu. 17
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Joe Rominiecki
