Editor's note: This is the eighth in a weeklong series of stories providing tips and forecasting the future for soon-to-be college graduates.
As people increasingly look for romance at work, Ohio University graduates are leaving a world of constant interaction with the opposite sex and entering one where the rules are entirely different.
Fifty-four percent of men and 46 percent of women would date a coworker, according to a survey of 4,000 people conducted by the Opinion Research Corporation.
Those figures are conservative
said Rosemary Agonito, author of Dirty Little Secrets: Sex in the Workplace. Most people who end up pairing now meet in the workplace. This wasn't true a generation ago.
Since women entered the workforce in large numbers during World War II, the workplace has become the place where people meet, replacing church and community and social gatherings, Agonito said. The sheer amount of time people spend in close proximity contributes to the increase in workplace dating.
Though a person can find love at work as much as anywhere else, dating coworkers has many pitfalls, Agonito said.
Couples run the risk of fostering resentment among their coworkers, especially in relationships where one partner is in a position of power, she said. He's dating this person she's getting favorable treatment.
Most couples try to keep it secret to avoid these conflicts, but inevitably people find out, she added.
This story is all too familiar for OU junior Chrissy Anderson. Anderson fell in love with her boss, Benny Taylor, when she began working at Ponderosa Steakhouse in Athens in October 2004. It was basically love at first sight, she said.
She privately harbored her crush for many months until one night in March when she nervously, jokingly asked Taylor what he was doing that night.
I thought I was coming to your place he responded.
They spent the night talking and have been together since. Still, Taylor was Anderson's boss, and Ponderosa, unlike most companies, has a policy against dating.
According to a 1998 Society for Human Resource Management Workplace Romance Survey, only 13 percent of the 617 human resource professionals who responded had a policy against office romance, 72 percent did not and 14 percent had only an understood policy.
Some companies forbid relationships and other companies require disclosure, said Agonito, adding that this is used to prevent things from getting messy.
After a month of clandestine dating, Taylor quit Ponderosa, throwing away 10 years of hard work and a managerial position, so that his relationship with Anderson could go public. Anderson said she was amazed.
He completely changed the path of his life so he could be with me
she said.
People who engage in intraoffice relationships are risking their career, so they must be certain of its seriousness beforehand, Agonito said.
Sexual harassment lawsuits after failed office relationships are also a possibility when one party finds it hard to move on, she said. This is especially a problem when bosses pressure a subordinate who is afraid to lose his or her job. This usually happens to women, who are typically the victims of the harassment, she added.
Men tend to be in positions of power
she said. When things sour, the woman is the one who quits her job or bears the brunt of the backlash.
Agonito added other tips for a successful romantic relationship in the work place:' Don't keep it secret. Inevitably, every relationship is discovered, and keeping it secret will only exacerbate the innate conflicts of office relationships.' Strictly professional. The couple must keep the office relationship separate from the personal one or tension will develop, which will affect everyone else.' Be very careful. The relationship can't be casual, like most dating, because of the risk involved.
Still, Agonito acknowledged, if two people are connected
you can't stop it ' many end up marrying.
That's exactly where Anderson's relationship is headed. The couple got engaged this past October and plan to marry after Anderson graduates.
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Sean Gaffney
