The recent announcement that the 1995 trashtastic classic Showgirls will be made into a musical got me thinking about irony, dog food and the ever-expanding universe.
But first, let me assure you it isn't too good to be true. Showgirls scribe Joe Eszterhas said in New York Magazine he is planning a singing and dancing extravaganza based on the movie many hail as one of the best worst films ever made. Not surprisingly, the show will open in Las Vegas.
At first, the concept of such an exquisite piece of garbage getting chorus line treatment sounds like a sure bet. I can see a bleach-blond actress playing the movie's main character, Nomi Malone, screeching lines like Please help me find my place/This dress is from Versace (pronounced: ver-sayce) and emotional ballads like I'm a Dancer
Not a Stripper and maybe even a tip of the hat to Vaudeville with the poignant duet I Used to Love Doggy Chow.
Okay, maybe the concept sounds really good.
But the idea of a Showgirls musical that Eszterhas promises celebrates the over-the-top and campy nature of the piece has a fatal flaw. The beauty of Showgirls is that its creators are only occasionally in on the joke. As Eszterhas said in the interview, it's difficult to deny comedy wasn't intended with a character named Henrietta Bazoom, but Eszterhas is giving himself too much credit by insisting he wrote the movie to be ironic to the core.
He didn't. And that is why there are drinking games, not film classes, dedicated to it. Showgirls is a movie about a wide-eyed woman's soul-destroying rise to the top of topless Vegas life. In its time, it was intended to be serious, titillating NC-17 fare. That the movie is such an earnest and lavishly produced joke at the expense of everyone involved is what makes it, well, hilarious.
So when the curtains open in Vegas, two things will happen: first, the concept of high, unintentional camp that Showgirls embodies will be destroyed. Scantily clad women cavorting on the stage ' sadly, without the ridiculous fake lingerie that broadcast television gives them ' aware that what they are doing is funny takes the upper hand from the audience.
Secondly, the space-time continuum as we know it will rupture. An unintentionally funny movie about Vegas premiering in Vegas as an intentionally funny musical based on an unintentionally funny movie?
For God's sake, Joe, leave Nomi alone.
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Matt Burns
