Editor's note: This is the fifth in a series about the lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender community in Athens.
Micah lies on a small cot, cold. He shivers uncontrollably while in the Lighthouse, a shelter for runaway and homeless youth in Cincinnati. A gentle hand touches his shoulder; he turns and immediately hugs his older brother, who has come to pick him up. Micah pulls away and realizes it's time. He hesitates, his eyes water, a single tear falls down his cheek.
I'm gay
he says.
Silence.
His brother, more than 17 years his senior, bursts into tears, sobbing in his lap like a child. I will always love you. I just want you to know that. The rest of Micah's frozen interior melts completely. This relief is suddenly dashed.
But I don't want you to expose the boys to this he whispers in Micah's ear. He realizes his brother is referring to his young nephews. Micah's heart breaks, knowing his nephews may never truly know him.
Ohio University sophomore Micah Brown returned from memory lane, looked up at me and smiled, but only slightly.
My relationship with my brother is stronger then ever. We never hugged before
and now he hugs me every time I see him
Brown chuckled. But it really hurts sometimes
because I still can't always be myself around my nephews.
Although I've never been through anything close to what Brown's endured, I know this feeling of being accepted, but with exceptions. Being black and gay in a predominantly white and straight society makes it difficult to be completely oneself without encountering rejection.
In 2005, 56 percent of reported hate crimes were racially motivated, and 14 percent were targeted because of the victim's sexual orientation, according to the Federal Bureau of Investigation's 2005 Hate Crimes Statistics. Not only must we worry about the threats of being targeted for being black, but also about hate groups with a homophobic agenda.
Of the 1.6 million homeless youth in America, 20 to 30 percent of them are a part of the LGBT community, according to a study by the National Gay and Lesbian Task Force. Fifty percent of gay teens experience a negative reaction after coming out to their parents, with 26 percent claiming they were forced from their homes. A support system becomes immediately vital, but for some, it's not usually until they reach college campuses that they finally can find a more liberal and inclusive environment.
But 36 percent of LGBT students nationally experienced some sort of harassment on a college campus for being gay in the past year, forcing 51 percent to stay in the closet, according to the task force. This statistic is probably even larger for those who are a two-tiered minority.
We are forced to reach out to a predominantly white, gay community, which will never understand our racial battle, or to the multicultural community, which will never fully comprehend our sexual orientation.
Brown and I are some of the lucky ones.
The animated and outspoken Cincinnati native experienced rejection because of his sexuality many times as an adolescent. Ultimately he found a group of students that would replace the void his family could not fill.
When he'd first arrived at OU ' among the top 100 most gay-friendly colleges nationwide, according to The Princeton Review ' Brown quickly established himself among his black peers. In turn he said he had to face homophobia on a regular basis, a trend in OU's ' and America's ' black
culture. The extinction of this pattern of thinking is long overdue.Brown had a longing for something more. He knew exactly what it was ' a space where he'd be accepted on both fronts ' but didn't think it at all possible.
In stepped sophomore Evan Robinson.
He was president of a new multicultural LGBT group called SHADES. Brown, while curious, hesitated before joining. But once Robinson convinced him to join SHADES, the group's presence in Brown's life became irreplaceable. When Robinson, a reserved socialite with urban-influenced style, stepped up and took the lead of SHADES without a moment's hesitation, he saw great potential in what the group stood for and knew he had to be a large part of it.
Many of us fall apart when we come out because of being both gay and black
Robinson said. I wish something like this group had been there for me to help pick up the pieces.
SHADES, which has about a dozen members, and organizations like it are beginning to catch on at other universities. Cornell University has a group called Mosaic, and The University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill houses United for New Ideas Towards Ethnic Diversity, also known as U.N.I.T.E.D.
These groups are starting to chip away at the double oppression that comes with being a racial minority and gay. With causes rooted in the campus culture, the idea is to ensure that no one is forced to remain closeted because of a fear of double rejection. There are others like you. You are not alone. These two realizations can change someone's life. It changed Micah Brown's. It changed mine.
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Dwayne Steward
