This has been a long time coming. I've been in hiding for way too long.
It is now time for me to introduce myself. For the next 10 weeks I will be your heroic, ultra-informative, super balanced columnist.I am going to be your eyes on the street. I am Stephen Pirovolos.
I've been equipped with years of no journalistic training. Not only have I never taken a journalism class, but I really know nothing about the trade.
I do, however, know lots of journalists. And that makes me qualified.
The goal of this column is to shed light upon many issues that other columnists dare not touch. The real issues; some real hard-hitting stuff. But with great power comes great responsibility. (Did anybody catch the Spider-Man reference?) It is my duty as a journalist to not hold anything back.
So if President McDavis is spotted rollerblading with Kent Smith, you bet I'm going to have something to say about it.
If Alex Rodriguez injects anything else into his body, be prepared for some very articulate commentary on it.
Even if President Obama does something less than spectacular, I might even have something to say about that too. (But I'm not anticipating that.)
But before I get you too excited about the amazingly intuitive things you're going to be reading about in my column, I think you need to know a little bit about me.
I'm a Leo. Yes, that means I was born between July 23rd and August 22nd. Significance? None.
I don't really believe in that astrological stuff. I just thought that was something people say when they introduced themselves.
I'm from Canton, Ohio. The home of the Pro Football Hall of Fame. Yes, I grew up totally surrounded by football at all the levels. The high school I graduated from was known more for athletics than it was for academics, and we never let anybody forget about it.
The result of this? I'm not particularly good at Spanish, and I don't really like football.
I am THE guitar hero. I'm not talking about those silly little plastic guitars; I'm talking about the real deal.
And while I'm on the subject of Guitar Hero, can I get something off my chest? Too bad, I'm doing it anyway.
I am SO annoyed with the people who think they're actually playing these songs. No, you're playing a little plastic controller, and if you think for ONE SECOND that what you're doing on there is anything similar to anybody who actually knows how to play the guitar, you're insane. (Whew, I feel better now.)
Hmm ... let's see, what else? OH! I'm Greek. And yes, before you ask, my life is exactly like the movie. My family is large, loud and as a culture we're about as ethnocentric as it gets. But you know you love us anyway, or at least our food.
So to recap, I'm a Greek-American born in August from Northeastern Ohio who has too much confidence in his abilities in both guitar and journalism.
So readers, prepare yourselves for a very exciting 10 weeks of good old-fashioned hard-hitting, sometimes mischievous, almost-always-fair journalism.
My advice to you? Fasten your seatbelts, it's going to be a bumpy ride.
4 Opinion
Stephen Pirovolos
