I should begin by saying I hate the dorms. I hate the smell of them. I hate when RAs hold those quaint informal mandatory hall meetings. But most of all, I hate that I was subjected to two years of their horrors.
Sure, when I first arrived at Ohio University, living with mostly freshmen was a boon. I made a lot of friends that year out of sheer obligation and proximity. Every door in our hallway stayed open or at least cracked as to allow adequate time to become acquainted with everyone. I could accept that first year.
However, when sophomore year rolled around and I found myself living in a triple in Bromley, I felt duped. I naively and unquestioningly sentenced myself to a full year in a 16-by-16-foot cell with three beds and one toilet. The hallways were lined with closed doors, no longer welcoming with the freshmen placards of identification and personality.
It didn't take a full quarter before I realized the flaw in the system. There I was, paying what would afford me a decent apartment for quarters some prisoners might scoff at. Another year of RAs and their babysitter stares felt like more than I could bear.
Those years have passed, and I am happily living in an apartment. I can cook when I wish, close a door to my bedroom and sleep as I please. Most importantly, I never worry about arbitrary authority figures knocking on my door just to check up on me.
Most students take living in the dorms as a given. They think nothing of daily trips to the dining hall for food, which has become increasingly less convenient with the closings of Bromley and Shively. Perhaps it's time for the students to demand a choice.
Why pay the same amount of money for less freedom?
Alexander Marietta is junior studying journalism and columnist for The Post. Send him an invitation to your over-priced dorm at am310906@ohiou.edu.
Dear university community,
I would like to speak with you today about one of the most fulfilling experiences a student at our esteemed institution can have. That is, of course, two years of mandatory on-campus residence.
When this university, (Ohio's first and finest, as I have named it) was founded in 1804, one of the chief principles its wise forefathers hoped to impart upon future generations of American scholars was the value of both being treated like a child and of being passively swindled out of thousands of dollars.
Today's administration has not forgotten this important lesson. While neighboring (more like way-boring) universities such as Ohio State allow fledgling 19-year-olds to live off campus after a paltry year in a dormitory, Ohio University remains committed to keeping full-grown adults in the dorm setting for as long as possible.
Throughout my career as an overpaid, underworked administrator, I have learned that mathematics, while completely mind-boggling and incomprehensible, can be used arbitrarily to support any argument. Here are some numbers with dollar signs in front of them that I found lying around my desk: $5,196 for three quarters' residence in a traditional dorm, $5,070 for a required meal-plan to accompany those three quarters.
I hope these numbers serve the function I was led to believe they would. Ten thousand dollars is a small amount to pay for the valuable lesson a second year in a dormitory teaches. Besides, from my experience, large amounts of money, sometimes as much as $85,000, often fall into your lap for no reason whatsoever.
As you all certainly know, I hold regular office hours (whenever the Angels win a pennant). During these times, my office is flooded with adoring students; I can scarcely keep up with the demand for my time. It is a fact that many of these hard-working, unquestioning youngsters come to my office only to praise the obligation to remain in the dorms their sophomore year. One young man recently told me he would be completely lost without the guidance of a resident advisor, and the thought of sleeping on a full-size bed in a room all his own sickened him.
It is my hope that this community will join me in praising our cutting edge policy of two mandatory years of on-campus housing. Without it, students would face a harsh reality of personal responsibility.
Cordially,
Kent Clements
Kent Clements is a junior studying journalism and columnist for The Post. Send him your Angels in the Outfield jokes at kc376907@ohiou.edu
4 Opinion
Alexander Marietta and Kent Clements
