Pillow Talk,
Do men like to be pursued the same way women do? I feel like I'm always meeting guys at bars and parties, hitting it off with them and then exchanging numbers. But I rarely ever hear from these guys again after our initial meeting, and I've been thinking that maybe they're waiting for me to contact them. Could this be the case?
Thanks,
Still Waiting
Still Waiting,
Just in case you haven't realized it yet, it's 2011, and it is perfectly acceptable for women to pursue men.
I don't know why, but I've known quite a few women who seem hung up on being pursued rather than being the pursuer, which is understandable - everyone likes to feel wanted sometimes. With that being said, don't you think men like to feel wanted, too?
Since I am, in fact, not a man, I decided to double check with a few of my male friends and received an overwhelming, Yes
we want girls to call us.
A great friend of mine explained it well when he said: It kind of makes it easier for me because if she contacts me I know she probably wants to hang out again. Sometimes men are quick to be labeled as creeps if they pursue uninterested women, so it's possible the guys you meet are worried that the booze made you more interested in them than you actually are.
On that note, you should also remember that if you're meeting guys at bars and parties, they could very well be intoxicated. If that's the case they might not remember getting your number or even meeting you at all.
In any case, you shouldn't be afraid to text or call any guy if you want to see him again. The worst that could happen is that he turns you down, and if you've just met it's not like you're in love or anything. However, do be careful of over-contacting - it's annoying for anyone, and you'll drive yourself crazy. Set some sort of limit for yourself, such as a three strikes rule. If you contact a guy three times and he's flaky, blows you off or fails to respond, delete his number so you won't be temped to think about it anymore.
- Mallory Long is a senior studying journalism and women's studies. Ask her your questions about sex and love in the culture section of thepost.ohiou.edu, at postpillowtalk@gmail.com or follow Pillow Talk on Twitter at @post_pillowtalk.
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Mallory Long
