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Bent on Boys: 'Death of dating' cripples coupledom

I think we should start off by acknowledging the death of dating in college society.

It was a sad realization when I found that the vast majority of my friends had neither taken nor gone out on a date with someone they were not already in a relationship with.

The cause of such an unfortunate loss is one that is not easily identified. We can blame the media and the high expectations placed upon relationships.

We can blame the advancements in technology for stripping away direct communication. Or, we can blame ourselves for becoming lethargic and developing a certain apathy to a point of no return.

I am now going to take you on a magical journey to the past where dating used to possess a different meaning.

Dating meant a guy meeting a girl and wanting to get to know her better, therefore he took the initiative to ask her out.

He would then have to ask her in person or obtain her phone number in order to call and actually speak to her. The two would proceed to set up a day and time.

The guy would pick the girl up on said day and time, go up to the door, meet her parents and take her somewhere nice. He would even voluntarily pay for whatever activity he had planned for them.

After the concession of the date, the guy would return the girl safely to her home, walk her to the door, and expect nothing more than a simple “thank-you-hug.”

If the date went well and there was a connection, they would follow in the same pattern. However, if nothing were really felt between the two people involved, that would be all.

No drama, no hard feelings and no awkwardness. You might even gain a new friend.

Nowadays, dating apparently means you are in a relationship with someone and how that came to be is a mystery to even the people involved.

Don’t get me wrong, I am not blaming or attacking the guys involved, for it takes two. I am saying that from a traditional standpoint, the guy is the one who should make the first move, and that is a tough position. Rejection is scary.

However, that does not mean you should avoid taking risks or settle for something simply because it is easy.

And let’s be honest, why would guys think otherwise? Women have gotten very good at throwing themselves at guys, myself included.

However, I will say that women need to step up and hold themselves to higher standards.

You are worth getting to know in a formal and respectful setting. You deserve to be taken out by a guy and have a good time. Stop being the initiator and give the guy a chance to come to you.

Women have allowed and even caused guys to become lazy when it comes to dating because they are so eager and almost desperate that of course guys do nothing  —   because they don’t have to!

We live in an age where a “hook-up” is a common phrase that doesn’t phase in conversation, and getting to know people means texting them on a constant basis.

The words are gone and the actions have followed. Is it too late, you may ask?

 I say definitely no.

Guys, do me a favor and take a girl on a date this weekend.

If she is your girlfriend or the one you have been talking to consistently, she deserves to be taken out and treated like the lovely girl she is.

If you don’t have a significant other in your life right now, ask the girl you have been admiring in one of your classes out so you can actually get to know her. It doesn’t have to mean everything or lead to a relationship, it can simply be enjoying someone else’s company for a little while.

And please, have a plan for the date. There is something that makes a girl feel special and thought about when a guy has the activities for the evening decided beforehand. A man who takes charge is a man who is worth a second date.

Who knows what it could or could not lead to, but it is worth finding out.

Bentley Weisel is a freshman studying magazine journalism and a columnist for The Post. Have you been guilty of killing dating, or has dating killed you? Email Bentley at


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