Dear Bed Post Person,
I have a sex problem. Every time I’m on the rag I want to have sex, but my boyfriend isn’t into it. He thinks it’s gross. Last week we got into a big fight over it and I haven’t talked to him since. I just don’t want to be with someone who thinks that my healthy, uterus-having body is gross. Am I wrong?
— Bloody Mad
Dear Bloody Mad,
Yes, you are wrong, BM. You do not have a sex problem; your boyfriend has an irrational fear problem.
Women have periods, period (forgive me transgender, menopausal, women who have undergone a hysterectomy and pregnant women). The people who decide to date and/or have sex with them will either be okay with that or switch teams.
Your boyfriend does not need to like your menstruation fluid, but he needs to stop running from it like it is acid. Your period should be much more of a discomfort to you than to him. If it is light enough that you not only can have sex but actively want to have sex while on your period, he should count himself a lucky man and stop running away.
Throw down a towel to protect your sheets; have him wear a condom (which he should be doing anyway) so that he can protect himself from your apparently evil menstrual fluid, and have at it.
If wearing a condom is not enough shielding for his delicate fortitude, try having sex in the shower. That way, all of his fears can wash down a pipe into the great beyond.
That being said, sex is a two-person activity (or three, or four, or five) and if he is not into having sex with you when your body is expulsing menstrual blood, he does not have to. Just like you do not have to have sex with him after he comes back from working out and is covered in gym-sweat nastiness and B.O.
But if it has been a week since you last spoke to him, you are probably no longer menstruating. So at this point he is no longer avoiding your discarded uterine lining — he is avoiding you. Running away from conflict rather than rationally resolving it, is immature and a much bigger problem than his not wanting to have sex with you duringyour period.
Also, please tell me you are not actually using a rag and that you just love antiquated phrases. With recent advances in menstrual technology there is no reason that you should be lugging around a perfectly good washcloth. Go buy some tampons/a sanitary napkin (generic name for a maxi pad)/a menstrual
cup and treat yourself to the 21st century.
Alex Bill is a junior studying psychology and criminology.
Dear Bloody Mad,
Right now you’re breaking out, bloated and you want to both cuddle and punch babies at the same time.
But it’s common for many girls to feel hornier on their periods. Explain it to your boyfriend, and then send him to CVS for tampons. If this tiff annoys you enough to write in, then, metaphorically speaking, a shove is better than a nudge. Both physical and emotional relationships only grow with communication — do not shy away from sharing your thoughts and needs with one another. And if he comes back from the store with chocolate too, he’s a keeper.
Now about turning that V-frown upside down. Try and suggest getting a little
wet and wild.
According to Cosmopolitan Magazine online, messy period sex is best avoided by throwing down a towel, keeping wipes handy and your man on top. But the article also adds women have a higher likelihood of contracting HIV and other sexually transmitted infections during this time.
To keep him happy though, avoid getting down on your heaviest days. This will make for much less of a mess. On these days, maybe take a breather. Find an activity that’s sexual sans sex.
Anticipation is hot. Get a foot rub, give a back rub, any kind of rub will do. The intimate skin on skin contact of just holding hands is said to further bond couples.
It’s not always about your vagina. To put perspective on his hesitation, one girlfriend of mine said if he were bleeding from his penis would you want it? No. So pleasure him now and he can repay you later in the month. Hopefully, you’ll drive him bloody mad for all the best reasons.
Steph Doan is a junior studying journalism.
