Dear Bed Post,
My boyfriend and I have been dating forever, and I am afraid the flame is burning out ... Are there any fun places around campus where we can go to spice up our sex life? Or do you have any advice for how I can keep things hot?
I know, I know. Missionary followed by a firm handshake gets a tad monotonous right around time No. 367. As relationships age, they lose some heat. You trade that “new sex feel” for consistency, support and maybe a foot massage. That said, sexual satisfaction is an important part of any healthy long-term relationship. If the two of you are not getting what you want, there is going to be conflict.
You keep things feeling new by doing new things as a couple. Because the two of you have been dating “forever,” you have had plenty of time to discuss and explore your sexual interests — likes, fantasies, kinks. If you have not (shame on you, and what on Earth have you been doing with all your time?), explore and do those first. After that, leaf through a sex book or buy a sex toy. After that, consider exploring a different kink — something that you have wanted to try but felt too shy to bring up. *Cough* whipped cream.
Location. Location. Location. I can only look at that poster of Jim Morrison’s wispy chest hair so many times before it just stops lighting my fire. Depending on your interests and finances, you could rent a cabin or go camping at Lake Snowden, Strouds Run or Hocking Hills. Or maybe just try out the living room. Or at least redecorate once in a while.
Sometimes all it takes is for dating couples to start “dating” again. Get out of the house, and go check out any of the countless free theatrical, instrumental or dance events that happen all over campus every night; eat dinner at any of the absurd number of delicious restaurants throughout Athens; grab a quick drink at a bar (we have more than 20 — pick one); and go make some sweet, sweet lovin’ doing that new thing you’ve wanted to try.
Alex Bill is a junior studying
psychology and criminology.
Four words of advice: Work hard, play hard.
You two lovebirds have worked hard; running the distance of a long-term relationship is no walk in the park.
But nix doing it in a random car or sticky bar bathroom to heat things up.
There’s no need to leave the bedroom for that little extra spice. Bring the habaneras into the bedroom instead.
Sound messy? Good. Throw in some maracas and it’s a real party.
You kids have gone at it for so long that, at this point in the game, it’s time to do … whatever the heck you want.
The problem you’re trying to solve is actually part of the solution. The lack of suspense or butterflies camouflages itself as a false sense of boredom, but underneath, it hides your excuse to unleash sex toys, toothbrushes, whipped cream, honey, handcuffs, ties, whips and more.
It’s all about whatever your sexual identities desire. Let loose.
Throw embarrassment and coyness out the window — you’re past that — and dive into the sheets.
Even if the sex dream turns into a sex nightmare, it’ll make a good story. Keep this one from the grandkids, though.
As a couple, you’ve stuck around for more than sex, enjoying other aspects such as conversation and cuddling. Sex is your toy now, so stop holding back.
Your only obstacle is bickering over which fantasy to fulfill first.
Steph Doan is a junior
studying journalism.
