By: Steph Doan
By “girly,” do you mean “is a fantastic cook and wears articles of clothing that do not have the word ‘sweat’ in the name” or “practices proper hygiene and is willing to acknowledge the existence of emotions other than anger and a craving for meat?”
Gender roles are a waste of your time and, frankly, outdated. Humanity has fought through too many civil rights movements for us not to enjoy this wonderfully progressive age in which boys can be girls and girls can be boys. Just look at David Bowie.
Relationships are big enough for two pairs of pants, especially if his are skinny jeans. However, if merely being around your boyfriend makes you feel self-conscious, regardless of the reason, you are in for an awkward and trying relationship.
Has this become an issue because random people are giving you crap for dating a man who records every episode of Glee? Forget them. Your real friends won’t care that your boyfriend bought one fourth-row ticket to the Backstreet Boys reunion concert.
If his “girly” qualities that make you uncomfortable include more than an affection for eyeliner, then you are saying that fundamental aspects of his personality conflict with your happiness. You need to respect him for who he is and respect yourself enough to get out of a relationship that makes you unhappy. If you think his “girliness” is something superficial, talk to him about how it makes you feel and start enjoying the freedom that comes with wearing loose-cut pants.
Alex Bill is a junior studying psychology and criminology.
I’m sorry you’re self-conscious concerning your relationship – love and sex are key parts of being a human. One off-putting piece that fails to fit the puzzle can make the whole picture feel shaky, even collapsible.
But I have a question for you: Do you love him? Four simple words that when formed together construct one of the hardest questions. Knowing the answer to this can change a lot in your life.
Maybe he is not who you pictured loving when you were 14-years old, but Brad Pitt left Jen An years ago and it wasn’t for you, honey. My point is how we picture things changes as we grow up and love prospects develop into realities.
So what if your feminine stud won’t build you a house with his bare hands like Noah from The Notebook? Isn’t having him actually look into your eyes instead of staring at the boob tube during game time worth the tradeoff? If not, maybe it is a sign.
End it before you waste your time and miss out on the manlier hunks waiting around the corner. Or, if he really matters, it’s time to man up and explore where this new relationship will go if you put down your boundaries.
Steph Doan is a junior studying journalism.
Send your burning sex questions to Steph and Alex at
thebedpostpeople@gmail.com
