Heart-shaped pendants. Golden promise rings. Diamond-encrusted bracelets. The sheer amount of romantically-themed jewelry I see worn these days both astounds and confounds me.
Everywhere I look there seems to be either a girl gushing about the romantic metal gift she received from her “absolutely amazing” boyfriend, or, on the other hand, said boyfriend complaining to his friends about how much the purchase cost him.
What is it about female biology that makes us so drawn to these precious stones and metals? Why is it that we directly link our love as a couple to the number of trinkets encircling our extremities?
Women’s insatiable interest in gold has less to do with the depreciation of the U.S. dollar and more to do with their constant need for love and reassurance.
Men, as a whole, are biologically proven to be less verbally expressive than women, which may account for women’s feelings of vulnerability in relationships. Men constantly leave their girlfriends guessing about how they actually feel, driving the women to seek out any, and all non-verbal clues, they can get their hands on.
For the most part, these hints come from the placement of his hand on her waist or the way he smiles when she enters the room, but as the relationship grows, those cues can start to wane.
He slowly gets used to being around her, meaning he no longer feels such an intense endorphin rush the moment she walks in the door. Soon the man has fallen into a comfortable routine and eventually stops trying to woo his girlfriend on a daily basis.
That is a common milestone in many long-term relationships, and as such, it often coincides with the first arrival of expensive, romantic-themed jewelry. Women stop getting the behavioral reassurances they need, so instead, they turn to the jewelry as a concrete assurance that they’re still loved.
Soon the girlfriend becomes dependent on that form of loving expression and begins to believe that sort of gesture is not only sweet but that it’s expected as well.
I long for the days when simple hand-written letters were enough. A time when men used to stand below their beloved’s window at midnight, eloquently professing their love and devotion.
Now, men simply buy a necklace and call it a day.
However, this isn’t to say I don’t appreciate the kind and generous nature of these gift-givers, but I do chastise their lack of verbal expression. Never assume she knows you love her, and even if she does, make sure she never forgets it.
If you truly want to charm your girlfriend — and save yourself some hard-earned money in the process — give her a lovely hand-written poem instead of that expensive Tiffany pendant.
Not a poet? Write a letter; sing a song. It doesn’t matter as long as the end result is the same.
She wants to know she’s loved and cared for much more than she actually wants that heart-shaped monstrosity. After all, a promise ring is only effective if there’s a credible intention behind it.
Men, here’s my advice: Learn to voice your feelings. You’ll not only find yourself with a much happier girlfriend but a fatter wallet as well.
Words say much more than a piece of metal ever could and honestly, it would be a breath of fresh air to see a girl in a relationship that isn’t weighed down by her boyfriend’s “love and devotion.”
After all, as Woodrow Wyatt once said, “A man falls in love through his eyes; a woman through her ears.”
Rachel Sayers is a freshman studying journalism and a columnist for The Post. Send her a letter at firstname.lastname@example.org.