My boyfriend is really into bringing food into the bedroom (he is 263 lbs.) and he just suggested he melt chocolate inside of my genitals to lick out. I am NOT comfortable with that, how do I tell him no without upsetting him?
You say, “I’m not comfortable with that.” And then you don’t do it.
He is a grown-up (I am assuming) and he will be able to handle the news that his super-awesome partner who helps him to fulfill his food-play desires doesn’t want to have chocolate-filled genitals.
If he is not mature enough to handle a very simple and reasonable “no” from you, then he is not mature enough to be engaging in the rest of the activities you enjoy together.
It is very cool of you to explore his sexual interests with him. While any good partner should be willing to explore a little, you are not required to sprint to the bedroom at any suggestion.
Also, good call with the chocolate on account of yeast infections and all that. If anyone does not know this yet, don’t put sugar in your vagina, as that is a great way to pick up a yeast infection.
Consider this: If he is really into the melted chocolate idea, and if you just don’t want it “inside of (your) genitals,” the two of you could melt chocolate on other parts of your body for him to lick off.
Enjoy. Good luck. And be sure to wash your sheets — no one wants mice or ants in the bedroom.
Alex Bill is a junior studying psychology and criminology.
Many foods are perfectly safe for slathering on both female and male parts — it’s improper cleanup that gets sloppy and dangerous. (Don’t skip corners and cracks while washing because that left-behind residue leaves a playground for bacteria.)
But some partners still think fondue is a fon-don’t.
That is perfectly fine, and open honesty with your lover is the golden ticket for great sex. Sit Willy Wonka down, spill the beans and gently let him know you feel uncomfortable.
Working together as sexual partners means accepting one another’s challenges as well as boundaries.
If you do, however, change your mind and wish to visit the chocolate factory, Cosmo lists a few candy land games that are much more naughty than nice. One even includes melted chocolate: “Melt a chocolate bar for 15 seconds or until soft around the edges and use it to draw sexy downward trails.” This adventure sounds more tame than sticking the sweet treat straight onto your genitals.
Subtle candy or food games like this play out even sexier by building up anticipation while also being a bit easier to swallow.
Even if you cannot stomach the mixture of food and foreplay, I am absolutely positive that as a sexual, confident woman you know other ways to cook up something delicious in the bedroom.
Remind your boyfriend how tasty you are as the main dish — no dessert needed.
Steph Doan is a junior studying journalism.
Hungry for more sex advice? Send your most lascivious questions to Steph and Alex at email@example.com.