I just got out of a pretty heavy relationship. I don’t want to be a slut but I think I’m ready to move on. What’s the appropriate amount of time to wait before I open myself up again?
Friend, you are so very lucky that my apartment recently lost our remote and I can now only watch the E! Network.
I was watching TV when the answer came to me, as all mystic truths do. Charlotte was telling Carrie how long she had to get over Big, her truth being it takes half the time you dated someone to get over him or her.
Those of you who just said who the frick cares about what those slutty broads say: Ditto. (But just for the record, I’m a Carrie.)
I once went through a breakup with a guy who said he had “Googled” what to do beforehand, including whether we should split or not. As if there was no all-day “Sex and the City” marathon as a guide, he took matters into his own hands. Except that he really did not; there is no way to Google, research, formulate or label what to do when it comes to your own life.
“Live life unscripted” is a cliché for a reason — because it’s true, ya’ll.
Honestly, outside of using proper forms of birth control and not killing people, there are no rules — no matter what those chanting bigots who held up scary hellfire signs during the block party would have you think.
Quick side note: Attempting to give them a dollar was not a good idea. They were not street performers.
You will most likely still have feelings for that person for a while, but no set amount of time is offered here. Don’t let the past stop you from listening to parts of you that know you are ready to meet someone new. You are a fantastic human being and whatever decisions you make affect your life only, within reason (like I said, no murder please).
Get out there and mingle. Stay away from hooking up to get over the breakup, but if you feel ready, then you are the supreme judge. I know a handful of happy couples that got together “too soon,” proving that the marker does not exist.
Besides, that other cliché about how “a good friend will bail you out of jail, but a true friend will be sitting next to you” is used for a reason: True friends never call you a slut and always carry a shiv.
P.S. No one is ever a slut in my book.
Steph Doan is a senior studying journalism. Looking for that spark in your love life? Send your sex, love and relationship questions to thebedpostpeople@gmail.com.
