I’ve recently started dating this guy and I really like him, but we haven’t had sex yet. The other day he asked me how many guys I’ve had sex with before him. I’m worried that it may be too high or low for him, so I didn’t tell him, but I think he wants to know. What should I do?
There is nothing on this earth that drives more rage into my heart than the controversy surrounding a “sex number.” Okay, that’s not true, I really hate cargo shorts and burning my tongue, but I digress.
At some time, someone in our vast history decided that there was a magical number of sexual partners that everyone should reach, but never surpass, so they were not a prude, but definitely not a slut.
If any of you out there know what this magical number is, feel free to prove me wrong, but I’m just going to go out on a limb here and say it does NOT exist. The limit does not exist (Check my Mean Girls references)!
It is kind of asinine to define your worth by a single stupid number. It’s like all the other numbers that don’t define you: your weight, your income and your GPA.
First off, as long as you are safe, there is no reason you have to divulge anything about your sexual history to any of your partners. That is between you and you alone.
If you really feel like trading numbers (which, check the stats, you and your partner will probably diminish or embellish) there is no reason to have any stigma attached to them.
Some of us are all about getting frisky any chance we get, some of us prefer to wait and some of us are off saving the world or learning to knit and just haven’t gotten around to doing the dirty as much as we’d like to.
All of these situations are completely OK. So, my dear readers, if you do care to share your number with your special friend, keep two things in mind: One, no one, I repeat, no one gets to dictate what you’ve done with whom, when or why. Two, keep in mind a quote from my favorite author, John Green.
“Imagine if I started eating Cheerios for breakfast, would Cheerios be like ‘I’m the 48th cereal you’ve tried eating? I don’t feel special!’ Well then screw you Cheerios, I can’t go into the past and un-eat all those cereals, but that doesn’t mean I don’t genuinely enjoy your whole grain crunch.”
Are you having trouble with your own Cheerios and your lucky number? Ask Kristin about it at email@example.com