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Noisy sex doesn't always have to be embarrassing

Dear BedPost,

I try to have sex with my boyfriend when I’m over at his apartment, but he’s always turning me down. I have now learned it’s because I’m really loud when we have sex. How do I tone it down?

 

Dear reader,

Oh, I thought I heard a noise coming from yonder!

This is a sensitive subject for certain people because while sex is a beautiful and natural thing, it can be tough for housemates and neighbors to swallow. We all are on different schedules and though it may be a perfect time to get it on for you, your man’s housemates may not agree.

What is not OK is making someone feel wrong for having what is apparently good sex. If you have more understanding roommates, perhaps take the nookie to your abode. If not, assure his roommates (as he should as well) that sex is entirely natural, but you never meant to be a distraction from their studies (or Call of Duty tournaments). Perhaps make an effort to exercise your vocal chords at a reasonable hour.  

And hey, sometimes sneaking around can be a lot of fun.

Kristin is a junior studying journalism and the Culture Editor of The Post.

 

By a stroke of fortune, this is the easiest time of year for you to quiet yourself down. The process is really quite simple but you should start immediately in order to get yourself sick and take advantage of the weather.

The biggest thing you’ll want to change is washing your hands. It’s getting rid of all those wanted bacteria that will make you quieter.

Next, you’re going to want to drink from everyone else’s glasses. Every time you see someone put a beverage on the table, scoop it up and get their germs in you.

You’ll most likely also want to stand outside in the cold for long periods of time. Don’t bother wearing layers, the less you have on the more effective this remedy will be.

Outside of these foolproof solutions, you could focus a little extra on breathing through your nose instead of your mouth when you’re getting down with your boo. The nostrils tend to moan less than the mouth.

I wish you luck with either of these fixes. I hope one of them works and you can do the dirty with your nervous guy once again.

 

Ian is a junior studying journalism and a slot editor at The Post. Got a loud partner? Email us at thebedpostpeople@gmail.com.

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