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Marco Omta is a freshman studying music production.

Sarcastic Scoop: Vice presidential candidates rebuked by Clinton and Trump for discussing policy

FARMVILLE, VA — After a riveting debate of fact, policy and interesting conversation about the economy of the U.S., along with discussing racial issues and the problems in Syria, both vice presidential candidates were sharply rebuked by their respective presidential candidates for focusing too much on what’s important.

“I gotta say, I’m disappointed,” Donald Trump reportedly told Mike Pence. “I’m tired of hearing about how you want to help the middle class or enact community policing or whatever. Enough of that. You only mentioned the emails, what, once? Twice, maybe. I was hoping for double digits. And all this talk about taxes and how they relate to the American people — what? I told you, stick to the low blows. But no, you had to talk about the economy.”

“I understand, master,” Pence reportedly responded.

“You know, Tim, I get it,” Hillary Clinton told Tim Kaine. “You’re excited about, you know, making real change in an economy that works for everyone and not just the top one percent. Look, I’m really proud of you for pointing out Donald Trump’s flaws, but really? Did you have to go on about all this stuff like the death penalty and how you feel morally about it and blah blah blah, how our plan is better than theirs in relation to the national debt and all that? Come on. Totally unnecessary fluff. Stay with personal insults when you’re on TV.”

A sullen Tim Kaine nodded without response.

Both presidential candidates have expressed relief that there will not be another vice presidential debate.

“I did watch the debate, actually,” Clinton said. “Did I enjoy it? Well, that’s a whole other question. But why don’t you ask Donald Trump? I bet he has something stupid to say about it.”

“Thank god,” Trump told reporters. “Booooring. I fell asleep. I mean, it was fine because my canned ‘live’ tweets still went on schedule, but do you think I went through that and watched the whole thing? Time is money, it really is, and I have too little of one and too much of the other.”

Tune in to the next presidential debate, in the form of a rap battle, on October 9.

Marco Omta is a sophomore studying music production. How did you feel about the Vice President Debate? Email Marco at mo183714@ohio.edu.

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