I recently saw a television ad for the MTV show, Are You the One?, and I thought to myself, “That’s total bulls---.”
If you haven’t heard of the show before, it’s a reality series where they take “11 gorgeous single women and 11 hot single men” and throw them into an upscale house. It's typically in a tropical location, and they put them through a set of matchmaking games and tests.
My beef is not necessarily with the producers of the show or MTV for allowing such garbage to be viewed as entertainment, but rather it is with the idea and concept that picking someone’s soulmate is as simple as an algorithm or questionnaire.
I consider myself to be a romantic. I look forward to Hallmark rom-coms and have a board on Pinterest dedicated to wedding planning. I have seen When Harry Met Sally at least 15 times and think Meg Ryan could be one of the better actresses of our time.
The act of meeting someone is so fundamentally complex, that falling in love with that same person can seem to be so intricate that its not even worth the time or energy. If you’re like me and you believe that there could be someone out there who is meant for you, even if it’s the smallest shred of hope that there is, you should fight for it.
There are so many different levels on which two people can be compatible with one another. Similarities in personality are probably number one in my book. A soulmate could be someone who complements or challenges you, but they should definitely be someone who is easy to be with.
Physical compatibility is also a big component to consider. Feeling comfortable, safe and connected with someone while embracing them is everything. The warmth that comes from touching someone can make you feel at home. Sexual chemistry matters here as well. Sex is a critical part in a relationship.
Corresponding senses of humor makes every relationship more enjoyable. Being able to joke with comfort and ease boosts individual confidence, thus strengthening the confidence of the relationship.
Friendship is an undervalued characteristic of healthy relationships. A soulmate should be your closest friend and most trusted ally in this battle called life. If you don’t have that unwavering bond of trust, how can you know for sure or depend on someone to always be there for you.
Common interests could be the most basic way we meet and connect with people, but it is also one of the more important players in the love game. Liking the same music, art, movies or sports gives you something to do with that person without even trying.
With this abundance of facets to look into, most would assume that trying to find one person who matches you on each one of these levels is a fool’s errand, but it’s for the same exact reason that I think it’s not.
If there is even a chance you can find someone who checks every box and gives you every single thing you need mentally, emotionally, physically and beyond, you shouldn’t give up on it.
Don’t settle for something that isn’t everything because somewhere down the line an inconsistency in personality traits or awkwardness in the bedroom could end up being wasted time.
In this fragile state of our newly adult lives, we should be searching for a life partner, not a bed buddy. Open your heart along with your mind, and you could end up stumbling upon your other half.
Haley Dake is a senior studying journalism at Ohio University. Please note that the views and opinions of the columnists do not reflect those of The Post. How do you feel about soulmates? Let Haley know by emailing her at @hd883312@ohio.edu.
