Spring break is less than a month away for many, and, as everyone knows, it’s the time of year where everyone goes out with a group of friends and does something crazy. Whether it’s going to Honolulu or something way less cool like playing video games. Keep in mind not everyone has the luxury of friends. For those of you out there who are so incredibly alone and bored that you somehow wandered to this page or perhaps you were linked here because of how much of a loser you are that someone just had to send this to you out of utter distaste, we’ve got you covered.
1. Watch TV alone like you usually do.
This one’s easy and stress-free! Instead of socializing, you can just stay in and watch your favorite TV shows to binge on Netflix (or Hulu or whatever). It won’t be any different than any other day, except you don’t have to worry about all the homework you’re procrastinating on.
2. Cry.
There’s nothing more satisfying than having a good cry. The dryness of your swelling eyes afterward gives you a true feeling reminiscent of thinking: “Wow, I really am alone, and nobody cares.” Being able to prove that to yourself is worth a whole lot.
3. Go to the gym.
Haha. This one’s a joke.
4. Troll other people online.
You may not have any friends, but you probably have prime trolling skills (which may, in fact, be closely related to how little anyone likes you). In fact, if you still use the word “troll” to describe being a jerk to people online, that’s definitely one of the reasons you’re so alone. But I digress.
5. Dress up as a flying squirrel and migrate from tree to tree, living a life completely based upon nature.
This one might seem a bit boring compared to the others, but it’s something we have never tried and we really would like to see someone do it. It would be really funny.
That’s all we have for you today. Feel free to email us your spring break ideas, whether you’re alone or not — but, let’s be honest. We both know you are.
Marco Omta is a sophomore studying music production. Please note that the views and opinions of the columnists do not reflect those of The Post. Are you alone? Email Marco at mo183714@ohio.edu.
