Spring break is the most magical week of the year for upperclassmen college students. It’s a full week of drinking, games, dancing and, of course, the beach. But one thing that always inevitably occurs during the sun-and-fun-filled weekends: hook-ups (in this case, it can be defined as making out at a minimum, and full-blown sex at the maximum). When everyone is fueled with Red Bull and vitamin D, some action is bound to happen. And, if you plan on participating in any of these “festivities,” make sure you know where you're doing it.

Where to hook up:

Hotel rooms. This is simple, easy and safe. Want to hook up with someone? Do it in a bed, with the door closed. End of story.

Beach. This could be a romantic and fun experience, but be careful. Making out is one thing, but public nudity is still a crime. Be aware of your surroundings and what you’re doing.

The Club. Who doesn’t love making out at the club? In the generation that’s obsessed with Jersey Shore and short hook-ups, who wouldn’t want to make out with a hot person in a Miami club?

The Ocean. The ultimate spot for a hook-up. You have some cover from the waves and the water, and there’s something special about kissing someone that tastes like the sea. All of your Little Mermaid fantasies can come true.

A concert. Nothing is cooler than making out with some bumping EDM in the background. Talk about a break to remember.

Where not to hook up:

A hot tub. Do you want a UTI or a bacterial infection? Stay away from hot tubs. A lot of times hotels won’t put in the necessary chemicals to keep it clean, especially during high-volume weeks (spring break, obviously). Just don’t do it.

Beach. Like I said before, you don’t want to be hit with that public nudity charge for just trying to get it on in the sand. You might even have to register as a sex offender. Not worth it.

Restaurant. Don’t bang where you eat. Rule of thumb.

Your travel mate's bed. Do you want to spend the 17-hour drive back to Ohio in complete silence because you shagged in your friend's bed? Nope. This is always a no-no, even when it’s not spring break.

A portable toilet. This is just demeaning. Why would you ever hook up with someone in a smelly, hot box where people poop? Don’t do it. You can also catch some nasty bacteria if you happen to touch anything in there.

But, most importantly, be safe and have fun. There are only a few good years where you can actually have some fun during spring break, then it’s off to the work grind. Happy break!

Hannah Wintucky is a sophomore studying strategic communication and Spanish at Ohio University. Please note that the views and opinions of the columnists do not reflect those of The Post. What is your ideal spring break hook-up location? Let Hannah know by emailing her or tweeting her at hw333514@ohio.edu or @wintuck.

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