One night out in Uptown Athens is not like the other. But after spending years going in and out of the same bars on Court Street, certain patterns begin to form. The weekends are pretty unpredictable because of random fests and family weekends, but one aspect that sets Athens apart from other towns is its Wednesday night specials. So here it is — a hypothetical night out in Athens explained with emojis, because in 2018 there is no better way to communicate. 

5 p.m. — 


You accidentally bought four slices of pizza with all of the quarters in your wallet and bumped into a Brad or Chad at Slice Night at Courtside Pizza. At least you won’t be starting out this night of drinking on an empty stomach. 

7 p.m. — 


You went to Brick Break knowing it would be a bad idea, but the drinks are just so cheap. You'll only last an hour because you'll have to go to the bathroom and know better than to use it there. 

8 p.m. — 


You head to Power Hour because you need a good beer, but you run into your professor, which is kind of weird. 

9 p.m. — 


You want to go to Lucky’s Sports Tavern for a liquor pitcher, but the line is out the door. You get super sick of waiting and watching people get denied by the bouncer. You kind of want to call it quits and head to Stephen’s to take over the dance floor alone, but you know it might be worth the wait to see all of your friends in Lucky’s later. 

9:30 p.m. — 


Now it’s time to up the stakes. You head to liquor pitchers and down a couple of huge drinks full of grenadine. You are having a good time until “Who Let the Dogs Out” comes on the TouchTunes for the fifth time in two hours. Time to go.  

11 p.m. — 



You definitely need something in your stomach after all of that alcohol. You grab a slice or two of GoodFella’s on your way to the next bar. You wonder what it must taste like sober and realize you already had pizza tonight. 

11:30 p.m. — 



OK, now you’re feeling good, so you’re ready to go to karaoke night. You buy a beer and are astounded at the price and think the bartender at the Smiling Skull Saloon must have added wrong. Then you belt out a Nelly Furtado song in front of a bunch of locals and completely forget you have a 9 a.m. class tomorrow. 

12:45 a.m. — 


For some reason, you’re on the patio at the Skull and you’re puffing on a cigarette, but you don’t even smoke. You’re wearing a hat you stole from some older guy at the bar, and you’re pretending like you own the place. Who are you kidding, you definitely feel like you own the place. 

1 a.m. — 


Somehow you’re at Union Street Diner with a huge stack of pancakes in front of you. You suck down all the free water and realize you’ve been out for eight hours on a Wednesday night. It’s time to call it quits. 

@_alexdarus

ad019914@ohio.edu 

Editor's note: Due to some technical issues, an earlier version of this article was published. The article has been updated to reflect the most recent and accurate version.

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