Love triangles are adding up. Secrets are coming out. And John Paul Jones is catching feelings? Week five picked up with trouble in Paradise as Jordan and Christian face steep consequences after raising chaos on the beach … over a pinata. 

The show is certainly not living up to its title, as contestants remain conflicted and confused about their blossoming relationships. Will bad boy Blake still live up to his player ways? Does Hannah G. finally pick Dylan? Are JPJ and Tayshia going to be the couple of the season? Let’s break it down, rose lovers.

Here are some highlights from Monday’s episode of Bachelor in Paradise

Jordan and Christian get the boot

Love triangles are all fun in theory … until they’re not. After being left on a cliffhanger, this week resumed with the fight that Bachelor Nation has been waiting ever-so-patiently for. 

Paradise took a violent spin when Jordan and Christian began pummeling each other over Nicole drama. Jordan body slammed Christian, which exploded into a fight so aggressive that even security struggled to break it up. 

“It’s one thing to be, like, this fiery guy, but it’s another thing to put someone in danger … I want to cry,” said Nicole. But much to our surprise, she doesn’t. 

The pinata throwdown secured their departure, as the contestants are immediately sent home. As for Nicole, her reign as “the Bachelorette of Paradise” has come to an end, as she settles with Clay. 

The Rose Ceremony scramble

It’s ladies choice! And yes, the guys are terrified. ABC Cam, Kevin and Wills are currently floating in Paradise and itching for a rose to extend their stay. Target of choice? Onyeka. “I have the power!” she stated with excitement.  

She’s interested in Big Mike, Kevin and Wills. But shockingly, it seems as if no one is interested in forming a solid connection with her. “I wish someone would make me feel that special,” she cried to Caelynn about the same girls going on dates. 

In the end, she eliminates herself before the rose ceremony. “I can’t give out a rose to anyone tonight,” she stated with tears. “I’ve met amazing friends, so I’m not leaving here with nothing.” 

Cam, Kevin and Wills get the chopping block but not before Kevin can throw major shade. “He’s probably had sex with every single one of them,” he stated about Blake and the remaining girls. That’s the tea.

On a lighter note, JPJ can’t stop gushing about Tayshia and how “hot” she is. The couple whisper sweet nothings to each other before she gives him a rose. “I’m not just some nervous kid that wets his pants every time he talks to a super beautiful women,” stated JPJ. We ship it.

Hannah chooses Dylan over Blake

Rejoice, rose lovers. Hannah G. has finally come to her senses. After weaving her own love triangle with Dylan and Blake, it was time to make a decision. Vitamin D or Vitamin B? 

Before the rose ceremony, Hannah smooches Blake right in front of Dylan. It was heartbreaking, especially after their gummy bear moment. “To have to go through this is crazy. If she sends me home, I’m going to be heartbroken,” Dylan confessed.

Everyone else on the beach is #OverIt and can’t understand why Hannah is toying with Dylan’s heart for someone like Blake. “She knows exactly what she’s doing. She’s feeding each of them what they need to hear in order to keep them fighting. And that’s not OK!” says Tayshia. Preach, girl. Thankfully, Hannah gives her rose to Dylan, and The Blake Show is cancelled. 

Hannah B!

The queen herself, Hannah Brown, washes up on the shores of Paradise. “Is Hannah trying to go on a date with one of us?” Dean asks. Nope, she’s here for a pow wow with Demi. 

“I had a conversation with Demi before she left to go to Paradise, and she let me know about her relationship with Kristian. I wanna see where her head is at with everything,” Hannah stated.

Demi tells Hannah how conflicted she is about her feelings for Derek and Kristian. Eventually, she realizes it’s time for an “open and honest” chat with Derek. He’s taken back but chooses to not walk away, despite her feelings for Kristian. 

He supports her by stating, “It’s OK to not know how you feel. I'm not giving up now … I want you in my life.” Aw. 

@maadilewellyn

ml203417@ohio.edu

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