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Bedpost: Let’s get over them

We all have that one person.

The memories of driving in their car, them bringing you treats when you were feeling down and sharing glances across the room. How their hand felt in yours, the late night conversations and taking care of them when they were drunk. The feeling you got sitting next to them when there was no conversation, the comfortable silence meant so much.

It was nice at the time, but now, it's over. Ouch.

Well, let it be over. There is a reason that person was removed from your circle. Whether it be their personal issues, infidelity or a completely unknown reason, remember why they are gone. It's not because someone wanted to draw out the relationship. It is because someone wanted space.

Take that space and take time to recognize where your energy is best spent: getting over them.

It's easier said than done, yes, but at some point, you'll have to. There is no reason to wait for that person back home if they're not actively waiting for you. There is no reason to wait on the cheater, the liar or the manipulator. There is no reason to wait for someone who just wants you for your body because, chances are, they don't want you for anything else.

The idea of a slow burn romance only works in some situations. If someone truly wants to be with you, they won't wait three, four, or five years. They'll wait until the time is right. Don't spend your best years stuck at home waiting for someone to call you back because they'll be out living. You should be too.

This person is going to be a piece of your story forever, but there's no reason to scrub them from your memory. Take what you have and learn from it.

That person taught you what you wanted in a relationship. Even though they might have left you empty handed, in the end, you're a better person because of it.

Put away that old picture. Throw out that concert ticket. Listen to that song that makes you think of them until you no longer do.

Don't let them ruin things you love. You have the power to control the associations your brain makes. If you always shared a strawberry sundae, learn how to eat one on your own or with a friend. Retrain your mind to keep them out of your daily routine.

It's also not worth it to check and see if they've read your messages or opened your snapchats. That's great you're still in touch, but to get over them, you have to truly not care.

If being heartless is your thing, great, but it is OK to keep your emotions in tact when getting over someone. You need to feel. There will be no healing if there is no feeling.

I love going to college because it is several months out of the year when I don't have to worry about seeing the person I couldn't get over. I don't have to drive by their house, I don't have to see their family and I don't have to hear about what they've been up to. I get my own space and move on at my own pace.

Make out with a stranger at a bar, have your friends set you up on goofy Bumble dates or don't pursue anything at all. Spend time with those who are worth your time and do things that make you feel the best you can.

Find what is good for yourself. Earn that inner peace and that blissful feeling of being free.

Most importantly, get over them.

BedPost is a relationship column that does not reflect the views of The Post.

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