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Obert Opines: 'Harry Potter' is the greatest movie series ever

The cast and crew that worked on the Harry Potter movie series are to the best of my knowledge not transphobic, but J. K. Rowling is transphobic and that is wrong. Despite this, Rowling’s transphobia is independent from the work that the cast and crew put into the eight-movie series.

I have watched every "Harry Potter" movie approximately 157.5 times, and I’ve watched like three other movie series. "Harry Potter" blows the other three out of the water, so therefore it’s the greatest ever. Here is the stupidest and best moment from each "Harry Potter" movie (I combined a couple). Remember that this is just my opinion so if you disagree with me, you’re wrong and you’re a loser. KIDDING.

"Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone/Chamber of Secrets"

Stupidest moment: Lucius Malfoy attempting to kill prepubescent Harry.

Has anyone else noticed that before Dobby disarms Lucius outside of Dumbledore’s office, Lucius was beginning to say Avada-Kedavra? I know Harry freed Dobby, but the killing curse seems a bit extreme. Imagine Lucius stepping into Dumbledore’s office to let him know he killed Harry.

“Hey, Dumbledore, Harry’s lifeless body is out in the hallway. He gave my elf a sock, so I killed him, just thought I’d let you know!”

Favorite moment: Christmas.

I still say "Happy Christmas" because of this scene. Harry’s bewilderment that he received presents for Christmas always gives me the warm fuzzies.

"Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban"

Stupidest moment: Stupid screen grab at the end of the movie.

Harry is whizzing through Hogwarts on his brand-new Firebolt, and the movie ends with a freeze frame of Harry’s distorted face. I liked this scene when I was six, but after the one-thousandth re-watch, it makes my teeth hurt.

Best moment: Harry knocks out Snape.

As usual, Snivellus was putting his nose where it didn’t belong, and Harry expelliarmus-ed him into next Thursday.

"Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire"

Stupidest moment: Cedric jumps out of a tree to introduce himself.

When the Weasleys, Harry and Hermione meet Cedric Diggory, 17-year-old Cedric literally jumps out of a tree to say "Hi.” What was he doing up there?

I can only imagine Cedric’s reluctance to go to the Quidditch World cup.

“But dad, I don’t want to leave, I want to stay home and climb trees all day!!”

“Don’t worry son, there will be plenty of trees at the World Cup.”

“UGH, but those trees won’t be as climbable!”

Then, Cedric’s elation to find a tree he could climb in Ireland.

“DAD I FOUND ONE! OH MY GOD, IT’S SO CLIMBABLE!!”

Best Moment: Cedric’s death.

I promise I wasn’t happy that Cedric died, but Amos Diggory sobbing over the death of his son is a necessary turning point for the rest of the series.

"Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix"

Stupid moment: Harry’s whininess.

This isn’t really a moment, but Harry has a ridiculous amount of "pick me" energy in this movie. “Oh, Sirius, I feel so alone, oh, Sirius, am I the reincarnation of Voldemort?” (fake quote). Harry, you’ve had a tough year, but we’ve all got problems. Luna Lovegood didn’t even have shoes for two-thirds of this movie.

Favorite moment: Luna and Harry’s conversation in the Forbidden Forest.

There’s no getting around it, Luna’s bare feet are fantastic in this scene…. KIDDING (sort of). In all seriousness, Luna’s message in this scene that Harry won’t be able to defeat Voldemort by himself is important to the rest of the series. 

"Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince"

Stupid moment: Hermione doesn’t know how to laugh.

Ron tells a medium-funny joke about Dumbledore’s age, and Hermione laughs like she’s never heard a joke in her life. Emma Watson makes up for it because she’s perfect and she has a pretty laugh, but it’s still cringe.

Favorite moment: Harry retrieving Slughorn’s memory.

Harry is tasked with retrieving a key piece of Voldemort’s past from the mind of an embarrassed old man. Harry’s brutal honesty in this scene about the legacy of his mother’s death, brings a tear to my eye every time I watch it, and I’m tough as nails!

"Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows (Part 1 and 2)"

Stupid moment: Harry snaps the Elder Wand like a twig.

I love the visual, but could we put one of the most significant magical artifacts ever in a museum?

Favorite moment: Hermione and Ron kiss.

Anyone who doesn’t ship Hermione and Ron breathes out of their mouth.

This evidence, combined with my self-appointed status (which I’ve earned by watching three separate movie series all the way through) as the ultimate movie series expert, makes it official: Step aside "Citizen Kane"/"Paddington 2,“ "Harry Potter" is the new pinnacle of cinema.

Bobby Gorbett is a junior studying journalism. Please note that the views and opinions of the columnists do not reflect those of The Post. Want to talk more about it? Let Bobby know by tweeting him @GorbettBobby.

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