Ohio University students come from diverse backgrounds. While some have lived in Athens their whole lives, others have traveled far from home. However, no matter the distance, moving to college is an adjustment.
For many students, OU is a blank slate and an opportunity to discover passions and make new friends; however, it also means leaving high school friendships behind. Whether a friend chose a different college or is still in high school, moving away can be challenging.
Amina Dudley, a freshman studying creative writing, said she lives a seven-hour drive away from her hometown of Nashville, and has not seen her high school friends since moving in.
Dudley said her friends stayed somewhere around home. Despite the feeling of missing others, she had always wanted to go out of state for college.
“I don't want to be held back just because I want to be close to home,” Dudley said.
Jessica Mahan, a freshman studying music education, has a much shorter commute to her hometown of Bethel, Ohio, but relates to Dudley.
“I chose OU because I wanted a little bit of distance to be independent,” Mahan said. “I also wanted to be close enough to where if something did happen, I could go home.”
Although long-distance friendships can be difficult, they allow students to make connections across multiple campuses. Dudley and Mahan both said they text their friends to keep in touch. Mahan calls about three times a week, and Dudley video calls whenever her friends are free.
“She knows about all my friends at OU, and they also know about her,” Mahan said. “It's kind of an 'I talk to her when I'm not with them (situation).'”
Halfway through the semester, Bobcats may feel more settled and comfortable living away from close friends. However, the fear of losing touch with high school buddies can still linger. The National Library of Medicine states students who move away from "familiar support structures” require “compassionate humans,” as new social environments can “stifle” connections and leave students “feeling lonely.”
Hayden Ringle, a junior studying biochemistry, said he was the only person in his friend group to attend OU, and his friends live in areas across the Midwest. However, after two years of long-distance, the Creston, Ohio native said he and hometown friends still hang out.
“(We are) close in the sense that whenever we're all at home, we'll get together and play poker and catch up about life with one another,” Ringle said. “It's always kind of playing catch-up when we're back together … you just miss out on really key, important moments of people's lives.”
Friendships are not the only forms of long-distance relationships a student must endure. Ringle said he learned a lot about maintaining relationships because he and his girlfriend have been long-distance for three years.
“You just have to be really intentional with people,” Ringle said. “You have to be willing to say, ‘hey, I messed up here, I dropped the ball and I didn't communicate well.’”
For a long-distance friendship or romantic relationship to work, Ringle said a healthy balance between communication and commitments is key. Ringle strives to text his high school friends every couple of weeks, but even the distance for him can pose a tough barrier.
“I'm not a very good texter,” Ringle said. “I'm not very intentional over the phone, and so it's really hard for me to be away from those people, just because I'm not very good at staying up to date.”
To combat this, Ringle said it is beneficial to make “appointments” to talk with people. Dudley agrees and said it would be easier to stay close if she and her friends could communicate about when they are available.
As the year progresses, more friends will be made on campus, and subsequently, more stories will be told to friends back home.
“At first, when I was making friends, I almost felt like I was replacing my friends back home,” Dudley said. “I'm realizing that I'm not replacing my friends, I'm just adding to them.”
Students who may be homesick and looking for support can visit OU’s counseling and psychological services if needed.
