College is notoriously considered a time of self-growth in nearly every aspect – professionally, academically, socially and emotionally.
As a college freshman, like many of my peers, I have absolutely no idea what I want to do with my life, even though it seems everyone else has a clearly defined plan and purpose. Although teachers, parents and upperclassmen all insist uncertainty is normal, it feels the opposite. The idea that college students, even freshmen, have everything figured out is a misconception.
Have a quick, meaningful conversation with nearly any college student, and it becomes clear uncertainty, stress and struggles are all common, even if those things are not openly discussed.
Stress is unavoidable in college, and college life becomes a “full-time job.” Perfection is unattainable, and according to Cynthia Vejar, director and associate professor of clinical mental health counseling at Lebanon Valley College, “... if someone is constantly chasing something that doesn’t exist, they will be in a perpetual state of dissatisfaction. This may impact their sense of self and make them question if they are in the right field altogether.”
This dissatisfaction can cause students to equate their value to productivity rather than self-growth.
Feeling like you belong and are aligned with your peers is incredibly important for mental health and success in college. Feeling left out or behind can lead to isolation, stress or low self-esteem.
To cope, some students turn to dishonesty, downplaying their struggles and exaggerating their accomplishments to avoid scrutiny. Lying is inherently wrong, but vulnerability and failure feel worse.
In fact, 80% of people aged 18-25 admitted to lying on their resumes by overstating their responsibilities, faking enthusiasm or exaggerating experience. You’re not doing less or worse than anybody else. People are probably lying about professional and academic struggles.
WorkLife, a news and analysis resource for HR and leaders, says this pressure to succeed and stand out is cultural. It is a Generation Z staple stemming from influencer culture. Social media influencers only post perfection, curating a highlight reel of perfect days, creating unrealistic standards that aren’t attainable.
When TikTok went offline in January 2025 in anticipation of a potential ban, we saw influencers come forward and admit to lying about their workouts, recipes and makeup routines. Fans were furious about the fact they were intentionally misled, revolted by how influencers were “monetizing off of lies and tricking you for years at a time.”
Similarly, college students feel the need to curate their own version of success, exaggerating accomplishments or hiding stress to avoid judgment. Vulnerability or failure is seen as a weakness, and those of us who fail often don’t have anybody to relate to.
This culture discourages honesty, making students feel inadequate when they can’t live up to a perfectly curated lifestyle. If everyone around you, including influencers, is lying about their lifestyles and constant success, it makes those who struggle feel isolated and left behind.
Imposter syndrome, “struggling with the sense that you haven’t earned what you’ve achieved and are a fraud,” is incredibly prevalent in college students, with a study from Brigham Young University revealing 20% of students say they feel inadequate or not competent enough to succeed in their current environment. When your surrounding peers seem incredibly successful and smart, you have to fake confidence to keep up, even when you feel left out and behind.
Beyond academic and professional struggles, there are also social struggles. College students are told to leave their old life behind when coming to college, prepared to quickly find new friends and organizations.
The painful truth is it doesn’t happen overnight. You don’t make friends right away, and it sometimes comes with trial and error. Social media plays a role in this. Watching others build friendships almost effortlessly while you struggle is hard, leading to “feelings of inadequacy and exclusion.”
It’s important to remember loneliness is very common, and 64.7% of college students say they feel lonely. Stanford social psychologist Xuan Zhao says people don’t like to ask others for help, “assuming that our request will feel like an inconvenience to them.”
College students are meant to be independent and fend for themselves. Asking for help makes it seem like you aren’t adjusting or failing, a sign of weakness.
“The truth is most of us are deeply prosocial and want to make a positive difference in others’ lives,” Zhao said.
Real friends, or even kind acquaintances, often understand loneliness and are willing to help.
Maybe this is a coping mechanism to make myself feel better, but I’m sure others agree. When one person starts faking it, the rest of us have to follow suit to seem just as smart and worthy. It’s important to remember your accomplishments, experiences and grades are all something to be proud of. Not having everything figured out is normal, and self-growth is exactly what college is for.
You’re not alone in feeling isolated. Ohio University offers many mental health resources, such as counseling at Hudson Health Center and other resources to support students' well-being.
Abby Shriver is a freshman studying journalism at Ohio University. Please note the opinions expressed in this column do not represent those of The Post. Want to talk to Abby about their column? Email/message them at as064024@ohio.edu / @abbyshriver_
