Rachel Hartwick

The eighth episode of The Bachelorette has a pretty drab first half, but after three are sent home, front-runner Shawn starts to question if he can handle staying on the show.

 

Spoiler: this episode was pretty freaking boring.

Compared to previous seasons, it was probably just a normal episode. But after the crazy dates and drama-packed episodes we’ve become accustomed to, this was below average.

The episode begins with Shawn sitting in the room with Kaitlyn, overly-upset about Jared getting a rose. He’s mad because apparently, Shawn and Kaitlyn had off-camera time in which she told Shawn he was “the one.” He demands her to tell him if she’s in love with him or not. Right then and there. On camera.

That’s a little much to ask the freaking Bachelorette to, ON CAMERA, ruin her show for viewers. But she sort of gives in and tells him, she’s FALLING in love with him. I guess that’s satisfactory enough for him, but he still has his super-angry face on as they make out.

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Two-on-One Date

The next day, Kaitlyn has a two-on-one date. For those who don’t know, this means two guys go on a date with Kaitlyn at the same time. One of them gets a rose, protecting them from elimination, and the other one gets sent home immediately. The two are Joe, the not-super-cute one who we don’t know too well but Kaitlyn seems to really like, and JJ, the jerk who Kaitlyn also seems to really like.

It’s as uncomfortable as you’d imagine. As they take a boat to some romantic clifftop picnic destination in Dublin, Ireland. At one moment JJ has his arm wrapped around her, and at the next Joe is holding her hand as they walk in.

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The three of them sit down for a picnic, and Joe steals her away to talk in private (aka, just far enough away from JJ’s earshot). He opens up to her and says he’s falling in love with her, which is sweet.

When Kaitlyn and JJ talk one-on-one, JJ opens with, “I cheated on my wife.”

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Yes, he REALLY did.

Of course he goes on to say what he learned from it, how it was the worst decision of his life and how it affected his daughter (yes, we almost forgot, JJ has a 3-year-old!) And Kaitlyn tells him how much she respects him for telling her blah, blah. All of Bachelorette Nation and, hopefully Kaitlyn right now, is thinking one thing — once a cheater, always a cheater.

Thankfully, Kaitlyn makes the right choice. She sends JJ home, asks for more time with Joe, and eventually gives Joe the rose. When Joe gets back to the house and recaps how the date went for the rest of the guys, Shawn angrily leaves the room — to go see Kaitlyn. Because he can’t handle listening to the other guys talk about their admiration of Kaitlyn. Again.

In the hotel room, Shawn and Kaitlyn basically have the exact same conversation as before. Shawn is jealous. Shawn wants Kaitlyn to be his, and only his, NOW. Shawn only wants what Shawn wants.

And let’s be reminded, Shawn STILL doesn’t even know about her intimacy with Nick last episode. After they talk for a little while, Kaitlyn admits to the cameras that she’s just relieved he didn’t know about the Nick situation.

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According to previews of the rest of the season, Kaitlyn will tell the guys about Nick eventually. I don’t know how Shawn will react, assuming he’s still around, but, honestly, I’d be afraid to be in the same room as him when he finds out. THAT’s how bad Shawn’s jealousy and anger issues are. Yes, he looks just like Ryan Gosling, but that’s not enough for a lifetime of dealing with someone who can’t even be a good sport on a show that they SIGNED UP FOR. It’s a huge turn-off, and definitely not a good sign for a future relationship.

The rose ceremony

A little more than halfway through the episode, we have the rose ceremony (strange timing, yet again). She opens by telling the guys that she’s made some mistakes. After she leaves and the guys are wondering what mistakes Kaitlyn could be talking about, Nick opens his big mouth and says, “Yeah man, I don’t know what the heck she is talking about.” It’s clear that he’s secretly dying to tell the guys what he and Kaitlyn did.

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At the cocktail party, Ben H, the pretty cute guy that had the cute sperm metaphor at the awkward sex-ed date, takes Kaitlyn aside and talks to her. The entire situation is confusing.

To put it simply, Ben is apparently upset that Kaitlyn had some one-on-one time that gave reassurance to Shawn about his position in the competition. He said he didn’t want to know any details, just wanted to know that Kaitlyn wanted him there.

Later, Kaitlyn and Nick talk, and Kaitlyn has her best attempt at trying to casually ask Nick if he’s told any of the guys that they slept together. He assures her he hasn’t, and they make out. Then he cries, and it doesn’t feel super genuine, more like he just knows exactly how to play this whole Bachelorette game very, very well.

Then, Kaitlyn and Shawn talk. Again. For what feels like forever. About the same things. It’s exhausting, and we’re an hour and fifteen minutes into an episode where essentially nothing has happened.

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She ends up sending home Tanner…

… and Ben Z. Nobody really has any idea who Tanner is, but Ben Z?! He was so tall and buff and handsome. I sure hope we see him again, whether that is as the next Bachelor or in Bachelor in Paradise. He’s just too cute, inside and out, to send home heartbroken.

We’re getting down to the wire on the guys, so let’s recap who we have left at this point:

  • Really attractive but overly-angry Shawn.
  • Conniving, involved-in-a-scandal Nick.
  • Teeth-so-bright-they-hurt-our-eyes Cupcake Chris.
  • Voted-for-Britt but still super awesome Jared.
  • The guy who beat JJ on the 2-on-1 Joe.
  • Cute sperm analogy dude Ben H.

Host Chris Harrison informs Kaitlyn later that this season, she’ll be able to give the fantasy suite key to three guys, but hometown dates will be saved for the final two. This is different from past seasons where the Bachelor or Bachelorette usually visited three contestants’ hometowns and had two guys in the fantasy suite. This is basically code for the producers spent too much money in Dublin, so we need to cut back the flying costs.

One-on-One

For whatever reason, Kaitlyn chooses Cupcake Chris for an extremely romantic helicopter ride and clifftop picnic one-on-one date. It’s clear to viewers that Kaitlyn and Cupcake don’t have as strong of a connection as Kaitlyn and the other guys, so it probably won’t end well.

Sure enough, not long into their picnic, Kaitlyn cries and breaks it off with Cupcake. She flies away in the helicopter, leaving Chris to sob to himself on the clifftop.

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