It's Festivus for the rest of us, so hunker down and celebrate the holiday for the common (rage-filled) man.
It’s Dec. 23, so stop crying and fight your father.
Take out the aluminum pole because it’s Festivus — that messed up holiday that shows you how messed up the holidays can truly be.
When December does come around, Festivus is that wonderful time when you gather at the dinner table with your family and tell them all the ways they have disappointed you in the past year.
Originally from the 1997 episode of Seinfeld "The Strike," Festivus was created by Frank Costanza (Jerry Stiller) when he was fed up with all of the commercialism and the religious traditions of Christmas. The holiday has since become a phenomenon as people follow the tradition with a meatloaf at dinner, the Airing of Grievances and the Feats of Strength. Festivus is not over until the head of the table is pinned down by someone attending the dinner.
Here are five ways to celebrate your Festivus miracles this holiday:
1. Eat a bagel for breakfast
Even if it’s a day-old bagel, eat one for Festivus. Kramer (Michael Richards) worked really hard by doing nothing when he was on strike at H&H Bagels, and it's at that bagel place that Frank decided to reinstate Festivus at the Constanza household. So show your appreciation and celebrate with a bagel.
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2. Get a Festivus pole
Don’t put any tinsel on it though, for Frank finds it distracting. Dedicate a corner of your house for the pole and invite all your friends over as you force them to uncomfortably stare at it. They know in their gut that the meatloaf is not even close to being done yet, so there's plenty of time for them to come up with a few comments about how great the pole looks in the window. Dig it out from under the crawl space and set it up or if you don’t have one now, prepare for next year and buy one here.
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3. Air the grievances
Forget Sen. Rand Paul’s Airing of Grievances for a minute, and take the time to relay some honesty to your loved ones for once. If there's anyone who has truly disappointed you this year, invite them to sit at your table for a verbal beating and a homecooked meal. It’s the holiday’s version of grace, if you will.
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4. Donate to charity
Although George (Jason Alexander) created his own charity, I suggest you just donate to one instead. “The Human Fund” is out of commission, but there are plenty of other charities that aren’t made up that need some monetary attention this time of year. When George’s boss Kruger finds out about the made up charity, George says he did the stunt out of fear that coworkers would persecute him for his holiday beliefs. Bypass the trouble and shell out some cash for the needy. Also, just don’t steal money from your coworkers.
via servicenation.org
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5. Participate in the Feats of Strength
Go get jacked at the gym for as long as you can stand it because you’re about to pin someone to the ground survival style. There’s no skill involved, but if your opponent is anybody like the rage-filled Frank Costanza, then it will take a Festivus miracle. Hopefully nobody has a cassette tape of you crying at the Festivus dinner table as your father tries to fight you. We wouldn’t want that to get into the wrong hands.
via giphy.com
Celebrate Festivus with the ones you hate to love. Release the rage so the rest of the week has a chance of being somewhat enjoyable. It's a Festivus for the rest of us!
@mmfernandez_
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