I do not fit in. If any one idea has been made abundantly clear to me during my four years in Athens, it is this one. I do not have even close to the ideal, slim body. I am not one to go out drinking or partying more than once a week. I am not satisfied with achieving the average in my classes. I am not free to relax when my classes and homework are done because next I have to consider my extra-curricular activities and my job.
What else am I not? I am not a typical journalism student here at Ohio University.
I have never had very many friends or close acquaintances in the E.W. Scripps School of Journalism, and this has never really bothered me before. Ever since I returned from Japan, I have been expanding my social network ' a network consisting mostly of students interested in Japan or the Japanese language as well as international students. Yet, I am not becoming any closer to my journalism peers. In fact, I can count on one hand how many fellow journalism students I have ever counted as close acquaintances or more. The real irony here is that most of those friendships started because of a mutual interest in something related to Japan ' not journalism at all.
With journalism as my chosen major, I have always been perplexed that I feel more at ease with other Japanese language learners and speakers than with other journalism majors. Until recently, I could not figure out why I feel this way.
We hear over and over again about how prestigious the E.W. Scripps School of Journalism is. This is really just a personification of us as Americans though. Americans covet ambition and competitiveness; if those characteristics are highlighted as necessities in any college, of course that college will become known as a paragon of learning. America is all about doing your best on your own, about rising above those around you. My response to that is best expressed in Japanese: iyada! ' basically, do not want.
When I strive to do well, it is for me. It is not for anyone else, it is not for a pat on the head, and it is not for some competition. I have finally come to realize that it is for this reason that I feel I belong among the other Japanese language learners and speakers. This principle I hold dear, while seemingly rare among most Americans I have met, is common among people with an interest in or relation to Japan. In Japan, the ideal is not to win but to help the collective. Students' main social groups are formed around their majors of study, and adults' main social groups are formed around their colleagues, because no one needs to worry about competing against these people. Likewise, in my Japanese language and culture classes taken both at Ohio University and in Japan, no one was concerned about who scored better or worse. What was more important was what we could all gain from one another's knowledge and experience.
Before going to Japan, I used to hate myself for not making more friends and contacts in my major. I felt like I was always a step behind everybody, but now I am feeling pretty good about my position away from the crowd. I have never been happy as a competitive person, and it feels like freedom to realize I do not have to be one.
17 Archives
Jennifer Musser
200805148059midsize.jpeg
