‘Twas the night before Election Day, when in the White House
The campaign staff was wondering how to stifle Joe’s mouth;
The chads were hung by the chimney with care
In hopes that a re-election soon would be theirs.
With Sasha and Malia all snug in their beds,
It was visions of Halloween candies that danced in their heads;
The First Lady’s vegetable garden had made them both fit,
Yet for one little treat they would settle for Mitt,
When out on the White House lawn arose such a clatter,
Secret Service sprung up to see what was the matter.
Away to the windows they flew like a flash,
Tore open the shutters and threw up the sash.
Their spotlights they did set the grass all aglow,
And gave the luster of mid-day to the figures below,
When what to their wandering eyes should appear,
But a mirage of past presidents out in the clear,
With a little old leader and founding father number one,
They knew in a moment it must be Washington.
More rapid than balding eagles his successors they came,
And he whistled, and shouted and called them by name:
“Now, ADAMS! Now, ARTHUR! Now, JACKSON and NIXON!
On, HAYES! On, HOOVER! On, Reagan and CLINTON!
To the top of the fence! And to the West Hall!
Now dash away! Dash away! Dash away all!”
As dry leaves within Hurricane Sandy they flew,
For this is a night that was their night too,
Of elections that have passed and are long gone,
But whose long-lasting impacts they do linger on.
Washington was the first and a unanimous choice,
Just one of a group of Fathers who gave the people a voice.
Thomas Jefferson was the third to gain the country’s embrace,
He brought us New Orleans with the Louisiana Purchase.
“End The Fed” didn’t just originate with Congressman Paul,
‘Twas Andrew Jackson who tried to end the first bank of them all,
And as for his inherited national debt,
“Old Hickory” paid it off himself, that crafty old vet.
Along now comes a man with a top hat and a beard,
We know him as Lincoln, he’s in a movie this year!
Freeing the slaves was a beautiful feat,
As for the Civil War, the South he did defeat.
Woodrow Wilson didn’t make many people smile,
While he just dipped into your income pile.
The 16th Amendment was just one of his acts,
And that is why we all pay an income tax.
FDR came along and stayed a third and fourth term,
His policies — while controversial to this day — hold firm.
With a wink of his eye JFK made the girls swoon,
We voted for him and he brought us to the moon.
Nixon was impeached after the Watergate scandal,
And Clinton gave Monica all she could handle.
We’ve seen two Bush’s in office who held a real grudge
For pesky Saddam, well, he just wouldn’t budge.
All the presidents past have shaped this land,
And for better or for worse this is where we stand.
So when you vote November the 6th or whether you did absentee,
There is but one thought to have: “TODAY I MADE A DIFFERENCE IN THE LAND OF THE FREE!”
Matt Turer is a writer for The New Political and a senior studying political science at Ohio University.
