Everyone knows that during sex, there are certain rules. You don't scream someone else's name. You keep your eyes on your partner, not the TV. And you don't cross certain boundaries without the express written consent of the other participant.
But oral sex is a gray area. Some people say it's sex, some people say it's merely foreplay. Consequently, the rules of headiquette have never been spelled out. Until now.
Bad manners abound in oral sex situations. We've run into our share of rude, thoughtless partners who don't pull their weight in the politeness department. Do us a favor and familiarize yourself with the following guidelines:
One: The cardinal sin of oral sex is physically manhandling someone's head. If you are on the receiving end of oral pleasures, your partner deserves respect. Their head is not a basketball - you do not have the right to dribble it. Asking your partner to please you in a certain way is completely kosher, but forcing them in that direction is downright unacceptable.
Two: Everyone must come prepared for oral adventures. If it is your turn to receive, you must take care to be clean and tidy. That means you should dedicate the same amount of time grooming down there as you expect to get during the act. For those getting ready to go downtown, you should make sure your mouth stays moist. Some report feeling performance anxiety and being nervous about the pleasure they're giving to their partner. An easy way to avoid this is to keep a water bottle placed discreetly in the bedroom somewhere. Also, keep tissues handy for afterward.
Three: For male recipients, it's your responsibility to give your partner fair warning when the end is in sight. Your companion has to make a decision about how they're going to react. Also, if your partner's jaw locks, don't pressure them to keep going or get frustrated if they need a break. It's best to laugh it off - if you keep a sense of humor about it, they'll be able to relax and get back into the game sooner.
Four: Listen to your partner's suggestions and don't take it personally if they request an adjustment. When they say, Ooh
just like that it does not mean Just like that except harder
faster and a little to the left. Enthusiasm is great to have (and in fact, that's our next point), but sometimes, less is more.
Five: Stay enthusiastic and keep a positive attitude. If you stay excited, you'll get your partner excited, and everyone wins. Alternately, if things are taking a little longer than one might have hoped, don't get discouraged. Take your time and do it right, or else your performance will head downhill (and we mean that purely figuratively).
Six: Don't force the kissing issue afterward. Oral copulation should stay comfortable for both parties, and if kissing once you've finished the actual deed makes you uncomfortable, you shouldn't have to partake.
Seven: Be safe. Oral sex carries the same risks of disease as sexual intercourse. Take the same precautions for this area as you would for others.
Regardless of whether you use oral sex as a means to an end or an end in and of itself, it's important to practice proper headiquette at all times. You can add your own personal rules and make them known to your partner. Have a good time, and mind your manners!
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