Do you consider yourself a sports fan? If so, what kind of sports fan are you? Are you an obsessive, a maniac, a specialist? If you aren't sure, read on.
By putting my sociology classes to use, I've created a classification system for any sports fan. Why anyone would need a way to classify sports fans, I'm not completely sure, but here goes.
Whether it's calling off work, setting up a television in the kitchen of a Taco Bell because you had to work on Sunday -again, I'm guilty of this -or spending an entire Saturday glued to your sofa watching college football, you definitely would be considered an obsessive sports fan. Welcome to the club.
2. Maniac -Know any guys who have sustained injuries in the midst of a March Madness game? I do, and it's not a pretty sight. These are the fans you learn not to haze when their team loses in the postseason.
For instance, when the Cubs were defeated in last year's playoffs, I made a comment that caused a guy to chase me through the halls of my dorm with a Louisville Slugger -not as fun as it sounds. So if you value your life, you might want to rethink where you watch the big game.
3. Specialist -This is a friendlier type of fan everyone knows. These are the guys who can recite every statistic for any player in any sport. They often aren't very athletic themselves, but they know stats like I know Family Guy references.
My friend Jeff from back home is a perfect example of a specialist. Need to know every team Jesse Orosco ever pitched for? Ask Jeff. He can even tell you Orosco's career ERA, hometown and pet's name.
4. Linguist -These are the often-unknown geniuses of sports fans. These guys come up with the chants, cheers and insults we all know and love.
Without these devoted fans, we wouldn't chant, Kent read
Kent write Kent State or be acquainted with the phrases Muck Fiami or OSUcks -the Buckeyes need some picking up after last Saturday.
5. Super-fan -So I didn't create this category, but it needed to be acknowledged. Every school has the one guy or girl (usually an adult that hasn't showered in a decade) who travels to every game and is decked out in the school's colors.
These are the fans who stick around to the end of the game, no matter the situation. These noble men and women deserve our utmost respect and gratitude for being such loyal supporters.
-Nick Miller, a Post sports staffer, is a sophomore journalism major who is, indeed, an obsessive sports fan. What type are you? Send Nick an e-mail at nicholas.miller@ohiou.edu.
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