Sunday's Super Bowl halftime show was the breast performance I've ever seen.
The mountains of confetti, the huge, titillating numbers of superstars bouncing around the stage, even Kid Rock acting like a modern boob were all enjoyable to watch.
So, why is Michael Powell, chairman of the Federal Communications Commission, eager to launch a thorough and swift investigation of the alleged degradation and violation of our childrens' eyes by the right half of Janet Jackson's chest?
Powell said in a statement yesterday that he is outraged at what he saw during halftime.
Instead
that celebration was tainted by a classless crass and deplorable stunt. Our nation's children parents and citizens deserve better
he said.
Thorough and swift? Outraged? Children? These don't sound like the words of a man who is supposed to be objective in his investigations and edicts.
Powell has been waiting for an excuse like this. Ever since Congress repealed his media ownership changes, he has been looking for a chance to re-exert himself in the public eye. His name is mud in the civil liberties and absolutist First Amendment circles, and it's not that much better among Democrats in Washington. His deregulation and free-market agenda didn't fly in the Beltway and now he is making the case to traditionalist American Family units.
Enter Janet Jackson and Justin Timberlake.
With their risqué and debaucherous performance Sunday evening, they provided Powell with the ammo he needs to start shooting first and asking questions later. What else could be more offensive and dangerous to a mid-life culture than popular music and slightly offensive, split-second breast evacuation that was contained and many people even missed?
Answer: the political circus that will ensue.
These things always start with something small, or in this case, larger than average. Forums will take place. Pundits will weigh in on it. The mountain built from this mole hill will dwarf any other mountain of its kind, even the one that started it.
What is the problem with a boob? Seriously. You can't keep kids oblivious forever - since birth children are exposed to bare breasts and have even been known to suck on them (where are the family values, people, on that one?). And anyone who tries to tell me they're offended by a human body part can explain to me how they can live with themselves knowing that at all hours of every day they are naked under their clothes.
People very likely will be fired and careers ruined by crusaders and pundits on both sides whose battle cry will be My way or the highway! Everyone needs to get past this and find something important, like celebrity news blogs, to worry about.
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Benjamin Roode
