There are three words on the tip of my tongue, my teeth and my lips. I have been wondering when the right time to say those three words is. In the past, when I said “I love you,” I was told I said it too early. I’ve been insecure about the right time ever since.
In my new relationship, I feel like I have determined the right time, but I’m not sure how to execute it yet, so I made a list of a few indicators as to when to say, “I love you.”
Most will argue you should never say it too early. My best friend shared she and her boyfriend professed their love three months in and advised me not to say it so soon. However, I want to confess my love now, but people are saying it’s an inappropriate time to do so. Well then, when?
Falling in love can be delicate and heavy, and because of this, I wanted to make sure my words are placed at the right time. I feel the first indicator should be when I feel my partner understands parts of me others haven’t before. I take this in the form of support, since I’m a very unconventional person.
For example, I made a comedy skit a few years ago and showed the video to my current boyfriend. Unlike others, he laughed at my ridiculous joke. Other people usually say they don’t understand it. I was surprised, but touched by his reaction.
Though many more examples will probably sound silly, I think the smallest things matter more in a romantic relationship. When determining how your partner supports you, try to think of the easily overlooked things. I have shared this with friends and have noticed they also have a small “test” for their partner to pass.
Many people believe in fate, and so many people will ask for signs, get their tarot cards read or simply observe their partner in certain ways. Much like the joke I made, some will see how their partner reacts to what their previous partners had a negative response to.
Another indicator is conversation. I suggest you try to confess your love after you have had some serious discussions. Exchanging expectations for relationships and the future might be a good place to start. Communication with your partner shouldn’t become a fight or a battle of who has it worse in the relationship; it should be an assessment of what page you are both on when it comes to the relationship. If you and your partner are having trouble communicating certain things, there are resources online for counseling.
How you and your partner communicate concerns, celebrate wins and talk every day is a great indicator that it may be time to take the relationship to the next level. Saying “I love you” might have a huge impact on your relationship; it should be handled with care. That care is present when communication and support are.
After seeing these traits of genuine compassion for you and effort from your partner, I think it’s good to say it’s up to you to determine when you truly feel it’s the right time. The third indicator should be when it really feels like you should say it.
I’ve been putting a lot of pressure on myself and for this, I should allow my words to blurt out when they want to. I think if I see him smile one more time, it might make me say it as my heart melts. Sometimes, we just have to listen to our heart and gut.
Saying “I love you” can be at the best and worst of times. It’s different for everyone, but my indicators might help you. Ultimately, the right time to say “I love you" is up to you and your partner. I have so many rules set for myself and I feel like sometimes I need to stop overthinking and say what I want to. If it isn’t reciprocated, oh well, I’ll love someone else one day.
Cassidy McClurg is a freshman student studying journalism at Ohio University. Please note the opinions expressed in this column do not represent those of The Post. Want to talk to Cassidy about their column? Email cm303824@ohio.edu
