BedPost is a sex and relationship column and will include mentions of sexual activity and other related topics. Reader discretion is advised.
Super Bowl LX is behind us, and while the world witnessed the New England Patriots’ offensive line stop the Seattle Seahawks’ defense with the effectiveness of the “We ID" sign at Busy Day Market, I was more concerned about the future of next year’s Super Bowl.
Not only because I wanted to drown out Bad Bunny slander from the worst people you know (people who think bouncers and RAs threaten their civil liberties more than ICE), but also because I came to a troubling revelation about next year’s NFL Championship game. Super Bowl LXI is scheduled to take place Sunday, Feb. 14. Valentine's Day. Yup, brace for impact.
I can see it now, men with jerseys on, bringing Jeff Market flowers to Jackie O’s and burying their heads in their phones to watch the game. They’re too busy focusing on their parlay, the group chat reactions from “da boyz,” and somehow will still expect to get laid when it’s all said and done.
A Valentine’s Day Super Bowl will lead to breakups quicker and more ruthlessly than your high school sweetheart’s first Halloween at a different college. What is to be done to avoid this fate?
First off, to all the football fans in relationships with non-fans, it’s important to ask how important the Super Bowl is to you. I, for example, am a Cleveland Browns fan, so I don’t really care.
Throughout the season, I’ve had my football fill watching this organization waste Myles Garrett’s generational talent and suffering the karmic consequences of hiring Deshaun Watson, so come February, I can take or leave the big game.
That makes my decision easy, but for you, those conversations may be tougher. Inevitably, though, only two of the 32 teams in the NFL make the Super Bowl. Even if football is your number one hobby, there’s no reason to risk your relationship over a game your team likely won’t be playing.
To me, valuing a football game, even when it’s the championship, over making your partner happy on Valentine’s Day is a troubling sign for your relationship.
Although some fans may be quick to argue the arbitrary day of love every February is just as meaningless as the Super Bowl, equating football to a day of love feels like a bit of a stretch (even if your Valentine’s Day does involve sweaty men, tackling and balls) and the larger implications of this misconception are broken down wonderfully in a previous report by The Post, “Stop hating on Valentine’s Day.”
For your relationship, however, the most immediate implication to consider is the feelings of your significant other. Even if you don’t care about Valentine’s Day, your partner might. If they do, your actions, or inactions on that day, can have an emotional impact. If you love them more than you love football, sacrificing the evening to celebrate love should be more fulfilling and making them happy should be reason enough to consider skipping the game.
If that isn’t the case, then there are way more serious questions to ask about your relationship. Why is the Super Bowl so important that you can’t sacrifice it one time for your partner's needs? Maybe it’s time to ask some questions about the seriousness of your relationship in general. The idea of “Super Bowl versus Valentine’s Day” implies that only your partner is interested in spending time together on the day. Regardless of your opinions on the holiday, you should, in a healthy relationship, be excited by the prospect of being with your significant other.
Of course, there needs to be equal attention placed on both of your desires. It’s equally unhealthy to sacrifice your own interests all the time for a relationship. In a healthy relationship, no one would ask that of you. As a football fan, though, if you’re die-hard enough to watch the Super Bowl, even if you don’t care about the two teams playing, how many times have you sidelined your significant other so far this season?
Do you spend time with them on the 17 Sundays your team is playing? How about the 12 during college games? How about the 21 Monday night games,16 Thursday night games, and the other three rounds of the playoffs? Tally up how much time your partner has already sacrificed for football and then decide if the Super Bowl is the hill you want to die on.
Now, if you want to act like an actual adult, you can communicate, compromise, take each other's feelings into account and work out the best solution for you both. Frankly, though, if it comes down to it, unless your team is on that field, you can afford to sit out next year’s Super Bowl.
The NFL will be fine, just like it was fine when a handful of conservatives were punished for their racism by missing out on Bad Bunny’s great performance and had to sit through a Kid Rock performance – a fate I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy.
Inevitably, though, my sage wisdom of “just talk it out, guys,” will fall on deaf ears, which I’m somewhat counting on. My partner and I love nothing more than watching other couples fight, so if you can have the decency to at least break up in front of an audience at a Super Bowl watch party, that’d be appreciated.
BedPost is a sex and relationship column that does not reflect the views of The Post. Want to share your thoughts? Email the Editor in Chief at editor@thepostathens.com
