One of the worst sentences a girl’s friend group can hear is, “I downloaded Hinge again.” Generally, this can be excused following a breakup, but at its worst, it’s a woman defying her own logic and reasoning while crafting excuses for her horrible situationship “Because obviously, he’s super busy and nobody else understands.”
Despite arguments that having a boyfriend is currently a social faux pas, people still seek connection. Additionally, straight women’s dating frustrations have generated numerous pop albums, and even their own term, heterofatalism. Heterofatalism, coined by Asa Seresin, a sexuality scholar, describes the phenomenon of straight women feeling embarrassed about their attraction toward men and desire to detach themselves from the world of dating and subsequent disappointment.
I don’t think the issue here is that men simply suck. Nor do I think the death of chivalry is entirely to blame. Dating apps may be part of the problem. With a large selection of profiles, dating app users are more likely to reject the profiles accessible to them. Women experiencing this rejection mindset are less likely to obtain matches. Despite access to more potential partners on dating apps, the act of choosing the right partner isn’t as clear.
Sam Kizer, assistant professor of instruction in sociology at Ohio University, recognizes the influence of assistive technology in modern dating. He discussed the various dating resources marketed towards single people, including cards to bring to a date encouraging face-to-face conversations, dating apps and generative artificial intelligence.
“The algorithm, the tech, the dating, the cards, the apps, the cards, whatever, they might be able to assist in finding people to evaluate,” Kizer said. “They themselves cannot be the evaluator.”
Although dating apps create an opportunity to meet new people and potentially introduce users to new labels or types of relationships, the mere act of creating a profile requires the user to exclude potential matches to some degree. On Hinge, if you say you’re looking for a long-term relationship, the algorithm within the app is already curating who is and isn’t available for you as a potential match.
Alongside dating app usage, increased AI use in daily life, from email writing to LinkedIn job searches, hinders their ability to make independent critical decisions. Effective communication skills are vital to healthy relationships; this becomes an issue with a growing number of people using generative AI chatbots to analyze and support their relationship decisions.
Generation Z has faced numerous barriers to healthy social development, leading to an increase in social anxiety and loneliness. Utilizing online spaces to meet people can mitigate potential fear of rejection, but these online connections are not likely to help people feel less lonely.
Dating is meant to feel good, and it’s not surprising even pop music artists are calling out when it doesn't. Human connection is messy, vulnerable and cannot be calculated by an app or algorithm. Even if you or your best friend resorts to redownloading dating apps once again, try to remember taking a risk against your typical standards or expectations might not be so risky.
Alexa Sanders is a senior studying psychology at Ohio University. Please note the opinions expressed in this column do not represent those of The Post. Want to talk to Alexa about her column? Email her at al683822@ohio.edu.
